Their father’s disappearance, coupled with their parents’ divorce, had forced Margot to mature and distrust the motives of almost everyone. She guarded her emotions and feelings and rarely offered friendship. She had made the decision to leave home and return only when necessary, and she would soon lose contact with the girls she had grown up with. The sooner the better. A big world was waiting. She wanted her sister to grow up and get away too, after high school, but Helen seemed trapped in an almost pre-teen state of silly emotions and perpetual gloom. Since Lisa’s death she had gravitated more toward Honey. They were still sharing tears, something Margot had grown weary of.
She found Millsaps in central Jackson and stopped by a cafeteria for a quick sandwich. At one o’clock, she met an admissions counselor who went through the standard spiel—small school, one thousand students, serious about liberal arts, plenty of extracurricular activities, sports, intramurals, every club you could think of. It was all covered in the brochures. She joined a group of five high-schoolers and walked the campus with a third-year student who just loved the place and never wanted to leave. They sat on benches under an old oak and sipped sodas while their guide answered questions.
After two hours on a campus she would never see again, Margot was ready to leave. Her group broke up, and as she was walking away, her father suddenly materialized from between two buildings. They walked stride for stride until they were far away from anyone else.
“So how do you like Millsaps?” he asked.
“It’s nice. I’m sure I’ll apply here. Where have you been?”
“Here and there.” He pointed and said, “The football field is over there and it’s not locked.”
“How long have you been here?” she asked.
“Long enough to scope out the campus.”
“You act like you’re being followed.”
“These days you never know.”
They walked through an open gate, climbed ten rows of bleachers, and sat next to each other, but not that close. In a far end zone a maintenance man puttered along on a riding mower and trimmed the immaculate turf.
After an awkward pause, Mack asked, “So how’s home life?”
She didn’t answer for a long time and finally said, “It’s okay, I guess. Everybody’s trying real hard.”
“I’m sorry about your mom, Margot.”
“That sounds weird, coming from you.”
“Okay, but what am I supposed to say? No, I don’t miss Lisa, but I’m saddened by her death. She was far too young. I’m trying to be polite and offer my condolences.”
“So offered. We’ll survive, somehow.”
Another awkward gap. “How’s Helen?”
“Still crying a lot. Pretty pathetic, really.”
“Have you told her about our meetings?”
“No. She can’t handle it. She’s overwhelmed as it is. If I told her you’re back and trying to weasel into the picture she’d probably have a total breakdown.”
“Weasel?”
“What do you call it?”
“I’m trying to reestablish some type of relationship with my daughters, beginning with you. I’ve said my apologies and all that, and if you want to flog me some more for being a coward and a deadbeat and a crook, then go right ahead.”
“I’m tired of it too.”
“Good to hear. I’d like to be your father.”
“I think we’re getting there.”
“That’s nice, because I have some bad news.”
She shrugged as if it couldn’t matter. “Hit me.”
“I have to leave again.”
“No surprise there. That’s what you do, Mack. Things get rough, then slither out of town again. What’s up this time?”
“Well, I’m not sure, but I think the cops are closing in. I need to disappear for a while and let things cool down.”
She shrugged again and went silent.
“I’m sorry, Margot. My quiet little homecoming has not gone exactly as I planned.”
“Since I have no idea what you’re talking about, how am I supposed to respond?”
“No, just try to understand. I don’t want to leave again. I’d rather hang around here, stay close to you and Helen, and live a normal life. I’m tired of running, Margot. It’s not a good life, and I really missed my girls.”
Slowly, she lifted a hand and wiped her eyes. For a long time they gazed down at the field and listened to the lawn mower. Finally, she asked, “How long will you be gone?”