In this place, one never need ask who “He” was.
“Has it been twenty weeks already?” I asked, my fingers naturally grazing the bump in my abdomen. The time had passed so slowly up to that point, and yet in that moment, looking back on it, I could not see where it had all gone. The life inside me pulsed hot, as though eager to meet its father.
Elta rushed to the not-wall and moved her hands around in complicated patterns until she pulled a crystalline cape free from seemingly nothing. It trailed along the floors like the skirt of a wedding dress, and a pang of sorrow erupted in my chest as I thought of the one I had made by hand, only to leave it behind. Had my sister made a match? Would she wear it now? Knowing her, she’d want one of her own. Perhaps my mother would sell it.
“You’ll have dinner with Him, right after western set.” Elta laid the cape at the foot of the bed. It was always “set” and “rise” here, tagged with the relevant hemisphere of the Earth Mother. Though I had a suspicion such time markers were used only for my benefit, as the side of the Earth didn’t matter to those not living on Her face. “I’ll plait your hair and get you some shoes.”
I looked down at my feet, which hadn’t been shod since I removed my shoes on the scorching temple floor. “Why dress me up?” I lifted my hand. My nails were like thin gemstones.
“Because you are meeting with our Lord.” Elta’s tone was incredulous.
“I was not prepared like this when I met Him the first time.”
She paused and glanced at me, blinking large eyes. “That was different.”
I did not see how, but Elta was growing nervous, so I dropped the matter.
Were I meeting with a mortal lord, I would be bathed and oiled, my hair carefully coifed, my eyes lined with kohl, and my cheeks peppered red. I’d wear layer after layer of the finest clothes I owned, plus some lace or whatever other niceties we had to spruce them up. We’d massage butter into my hands and file my nails. I’d chew on parsley for my breath and rehearse every word I might possibly utter.
Here, I wore shoes and a long cape pinned to my shoulders. Elta braided my hair and saw to it that I was comfortable. And that was all.
Odd, that I would put in so much less effort for a god than for a man. But as I’d learned in a thousand different ways, the laws of the heavens were quite different than those of men.
“When the Sun doesn’t shine on Helchanar,” I said, trying to stave off nerves as I awaited my appointment, “He shines on the other side of the world.”
Elta nodded.
“Then how is He ever here?”
She smiled at me like I was a child. Compared to her, I suppose I was. “Satto is a god,” she explained, using a name common among the palace godlings. “His ways cannot always be comprehended by mortals.” She put up both hands. “Not to insult your intelligence. But He can split Himself, in a sense.” She paused, likely trying to simplify the explanation. “He can leave His brightness in the sky if matters must be addressed elsewhere. He is fully cognizant in both forms, but He is not His whole self. It does make Him more susceptible to harm.”
I sat straighter. “Harm?”
Elta clicked her tongue. “Do you think mortals are the only ones who suffer war?”
I mulled this over, imagining what a battle among gods must be like. Elta tidied the room and let me be.
It didn’t take long for my nerves to catch up with me. I was about to sit down to dinner with the most powerful being I knew. A being I had slept with, and yet felt no intimacy with. But He was the father of my child.
I brushed thoughts of Caen away and walked to the not-door. The palace knew my purpose, and so it did not open to the usual long, contorted hallway, but to a large room seemingly without enclosure. A crystalline table about six feet long lay ahead of me, covered in serving platters. A godling set down the last tray of food, and I noticed it was all mortal—roasted pheasant, an animal I didn’t recognize stuffed with apples and spices, pies and cakes, creamy soup, two different kinds of bread already sliced, a myriad of jams and spreads. It all had the same crystalline sheen as my skin.
My stomach rumbled, and the godling glided away as though made of cloud.
There were two chairs, one on each end of the table, and I sat down, gazing at the food. It smelled wonderful. My own wedding feast would not have been as grand.
The Sun did not keep me waiting, so thankfully my thoughts didn’t linger on the life I had left behind. He appeared, utterly radiant and beautiful, His power as constrained as a god’s power could be. He again had taken the form of a man, but something about Him, so regal and fierce, still reminded me of a lion. A lion on fire that didn’t burn, and I wondered how utterly lucent He would be if He had not diminished Himself to meet with me. For surely He was divided as Elta had explained, else somewhere in the world, millions of people were missing their day.