Sitting back, he shook his head a second time. “You mustn’t do that again.”
“I wanted to help you.”
“You mustn’t,” he repeated, firm. His tone was a mix of anger and fear, just as mine had been moments ago. “You only have so much starlight within you. You must use it wisely.”
I paused. That was the emptiness I felt, then. The siphoning of my starlight, each time I used it. Sitting up straighter, I found some energy in indignation. “And that wasn’t wise? They were going to take you, Ris. You might not fight back, but I will.”
He pressed his lips together. Looked away. “I should not have bargained with you.”
“Too late.” I wiped my hand across my forehead. “It’s my starlight. I’ll use it as I see fit.”
“You will become mortal.”
“And what’s wrong with being mortal?” I pushed myself up, then found I lacked the strength to stand. “I’ve been mortal my whole life.”
He didn’t answer for a beat. “It would be a great loss to see you die young.”
Exhaustion swept over my anger, uncovering honesty. “Oh, Ris. I don’t know if I want a life that doesn’t have you in it.”
It was more of a confession than I’d intended to make, and a sudden one, for I’d known the godling only a week—two if I counted the time skip—but he was so much a part of my morning, noon, evening, and night I honestly couldn’t imagine returning to a life that did not include him, even if I were successful in finding my sister’s descendants in Nediah.
He didn’t look at me, but knelt, thoughtful, quiet.
Minutes passed. “Perhaps we should go somewhere safer,” I suggested.
He glanced up, taking in the metallic spattering on the tree in the wood. “We have time. You need to rest. Your body isn’t resilient enough to move on yet.”
Resilient enough to birth a star, just not wield the power of one. But I was too exhausted to point out the irony. And so, under Ristriel’s silent watch, I fell asleep cradled in the roots of a tree, moonlight on my face.
The dawn was so bold and bright that it penetrated my eyelids, banishing my dreams in a plume of smoke. I opened my eyes and blinked at the brightness, lifting a hand to block it, noting sore muscles as I did so.
It took me a moment to realize it was not the dawn that had woken me, but Sun Himself.
I startled into alertness and sat up, noting the forest around me was bathed in shades of night. And Ristriel—Ristriel was gone.
“What did you do to him?” I launched to my feet, heart in my throat.
Sun raised a golden eyebrow. “To whom?”
My wits rushed to make sense of the situation. The Sun was here. Ristriel must have sensed Him coming, like before, and vanished. Yar and Shu had not yet reported to Him. I did not know Sun as well as I should, but like Ristriel, He was honest, and not one to play games. He did not know.
My eyes adjusted, I lowered my hand. “I-I’m sorry, nothing. Just a bad dream.”
Sun hummed deep in His throat. “One of the many gifts of mortals.”
I had been searching the woods, wondering if that metallic glitter was still there, or if Ristriel might pop up his head, but Sun’s comment jerked my attention back to Him. “Dreams?”
He held out a hand as though offering me something. “Immortals do not need sleep, and so We do not dream. I have always found the idea of a theater of the mind fascinating, and yet it is one thing I cannot, and will not, understand.”
“I didn’t know.” Though it made sense. “They can be very . . . peculiar. Sometimes they are pleasant, sometimes they are scary, other times they are simply . . . there. And they are not always remembered.”
He nodded. “Why have you deactivated your ring?”
Flushing, I glanced down at my hand. I twisted the golden loop so the amber band shone across its center. How Sun found me, I wasn’t sure, but we had not ventured far from Tarnos, where the ring had last been active. My burst of starlight had likely played a role as well. “I-I tinker with it sometimes. I must not have realized.” The lie felt thick on my tongue.
The Sun gazed up at the sky. “I have little time, Ceris. Please, will you come with Me?”
And Sun was so earnest, I nodded. He offered me His elbow. I hesitated, fighting the impulse to turn around, to look for Ristriel. I took His elbow. He was hot to the touch, like a raging fever, but like before, His heat did not harm me. It was quite pleasant, after a chilly night in the wood.