I’d run through the meeting in my mind so many times, sifting through different scenarios accounting for all sorts of reactions. Mistrust, disbelief, happiness, tears . . . I’d tried to prepare myself for every possible outcome. The worst-case scenario was either not finding my family at all or finding them and being outright rejected, in which case I’d have to make my home somewhere else, or take Saiyon up on His offer.
I glanced at Ristriel, wondering if he could ever make a home among mortals, or if he’d be forever running, leaving me behind to grow old without aging. Would he stay by my side, if I chose to stop moving?
Would he be able to?
“Come with me to the city?” I’d never been an anxious person, but facing that large place on my own became suddenly daunting. I’d never been to a city before. Part of me wanted to turn back into the forest and simply get lost in it, never to face another human being again.
But Ristriel nodded, and I breathed out my relief. Once we left the cemetery, he said, “I will have to be careful if there are crowds, but I will do my best.”
Crowds, because anyone might simply walk through Ristriel instead of bumping into him, and that could cause anything from confusion to a riot. As Ristriel had said, humans were superstitious creatures. “Thank you.” I let my fingers pass through his, and a cool chill ran up my arm. Ristriel stepped closer to me, enough so that, were he solid, our shoulders would brush. I wished that I could feel his hand in mine as I approached this enormous place where I knew no one. So I could have something steady to hold on to. So that he could whisk me away if something went wrong.
I glanced up at the Sun, willing more clouds to bar the light.
Then I turned my ring off.
There were guards at the gate, but they stood there casually, welcoming the coming and going of visitors. The wall was old, perhaps built long ago as a fortification in battle, and the city was densely packed within it. The crowded streets, crammed with shops, homes, and people, were not good for Ristriel, but I marveled. The throngs were thickest down the large streets, especially toward the centers, where people of all sizes and shapes pushed past one another, or shouted so their haggling could be heard over their neighbors’。 We avoided the worst of it by following the narrower routes close to the wall, hugging the stone as we passed tradesmen and sweetshops, skinny houses sharing walls, a horse market. I found two men sitting outside a closed tavern, playing a game of stones, and asked them if they knew where the Parroses lived. They did not, so we moved on. I asked a woman leading a child by the hand, but she did not, either.
I had some hope when we stumbled across the blacksmith, smoke rising from his bellows. I had been told the Parroses had left Endwever to pursue metalworking.
But the blacksmith was not a Parros, and the name was unfamiliar to him. He wasn’t even sure how many blacksmiths the city had. Was Nediah so large?
We wandered a little farther, and I found a woman selling warm sweet buns from a basket and used a bit of my precious coin to purchase one. Ristriel melded with the shadows until I returned, and then he walked by me once more, occasionally flashing solid when we passed under stone bridges that shut out the Sunlight. Beneath an especially large one, I finally did grab his hand, squeezing much too hard, but he didn’t so much as wince. He clasped my fingers tightly, until we passed the bridge and he became a spirit again.
The city spiraled upward like a conch, and the more we walked, the higher we climbed, the ground slowly elevating a bit at a time until I could see over the main wall. I stopped here and there, asking if anyone knew of the Parros family. Most willingly answered, all said no. Even Ristriel took to asking around, approaching those who looked less savory, who might take advantage of a lost woman. He gathered nothing of use, either, though he did get directions to a second blacksmith. The man’s forge was closed when we arrived, but a neighbor confirmed he was not a Parros, either.
The cobblestones were rougher than the natural Earth, and by the time evening settled over the city, my feet ached. I knew I had much of the city left to explore, that I should not give up yet, but my heart was heavy, and my ears buzzed with the noise of so many bodies. At least no one looked at me strangely, for in a place this large, strangers were common. At first, it was a relief not to be noticed. But after several hours, I began wishing someone would shout out, Star Mother! and cause a stir, and a crowd would form, and one of them would know about the Parroses who’d moved here so long ago, and who had graves in the local cemetery.
Instead of continuing to wind around the city, we cut through it by taking a stairway between high stone walls, wide enough for only one person to pass at a time. Ristriel walked behind me, encouraging me when I had to stop for a breath, pressing a hand into the small of my back, for like beneath the bridges, the stonework blotted out the Sun. I leaned into his touch, and not only because I was tired.