Since my mother would have been livid if she’d known he asked me to come home—she didn’t want anyone to know about her diagnosis—I never said a word about it to anyone. I just said I was taking a break after the show wrapped in order to consider my next move. The offer from Ellie’s parents—who I called Uncle Lucas and Aunt Mia—to open Etoile had come just after my mom’s surgery. After talking it over with my mom and dad, and making sure the Fourniers knew I could only commit for six months, I decided to take it.
Although, if I accepted the new reality show I’d been offered, I’d have to get out of the contract at least a month early—that was one of the things making me hesitate about the contract. I didn’t want to go back on my word.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Pop.”
“Hey. We still on for tonight? I’m gonna kick your ass with a duck breast.”
I laughed. “You probably would, but I can’t make it tonight.”
“Scared I’ll beat you?”
“Listen, old man, I had a prawn and chive dumpling with sake butter and ponzu planned that was gonna make you weep.”
“Damn. That does sound good. Why can’t you make it?”
“I have to take Ellie up to Harbor Springs. She’s doing a private wine tasting at somebody’s vacation home, and she was planning to drive alone.”
“Tonight? There’s a huge storm coming.”
“I know. Believe me, I tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn’t listen.” I explained who the host and hostess were and why Ellie was so determined to get there and impress them. “She’s convinced that somehow, tonight is going to change her life.”
My dad laughed. “Yeah, you can’t talk to a woman when she gets that in her head. Well, be careful. Leave early, go slow, and get off the road if it gets bad.”
“I will.”
“You give any more thought to that other TV offer yet?”
“Some.” I hesitated. “It would be a hard thing to walk away from.”
It was another cooking competition show, where experienced chefs would mentor attractive B-list celebrities who claimed to be clueless in the kitchen, and their meals would be judged by a panel of experts. It was called Hot Mess, and as ridiculous as the concept was, it would probably be a huge hit.
But the offer was to host the show, not appear as one of the mentor chefs or judges, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to move in that direction—away from the kitchen.
And contrary to what Ellie implied, I loved Abelard and enjoyed working here. I’d had a lot of input into the kitchen design, the hiring, the menu, and the methods. I was proud of the way it had turned out. But I’d never planned to stay forever.
I never planned to stay anywhere forever.
As a kid I’d been restless, never wanting to sit still or do what I was told. Fragile objects tempted me to smash them, rules dared me to break them, every hill had to be climbed and conquered—boredom was the enemy. As an adult, I still had that burning desire to go everywhere, do everything, fuck shit up. I never wanted to stop moving or settle down or even grow old. The question was always, what will my next adventure be?
I wasn’t positive another TV show was the answer, but I’d told Spencer, my agent, I’d decide on the network’s offer this week. For a second, I thought maybe I’d talk to Ellie about it on the ride to Harbor Springs. She was smart and ambitious too, so maybe she’d have some advice. Granted, she was likely to give me some shit about cutting out of Etoile early, but maybe she’d be so eager to get rid of me, she’d encourage me to take the gig.
Then she’d watch every single episode and lie about it, I thought with a grin.
“I agree, it would be hard to turn down,” my dad said. “But ultimately, is another show what you want to do? Is that the direction you want to take with your career?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “But I don’t want to waste time doing things that don’t matter. I like cooking for people, learning new things, coming up with new ideas. I don’t even think I’d be in the kitchen much on that show they’re pitching. I’d be the host. Fucking window dressing.”
“It’s a bitch to be so good-looking.”
I laughed. “Yeah.” I tried again to put my finger on what was holding me back and heard Ellie’s voice in my head. “Do you think it’s just bullshit? A joke?”
“Nah. People like to be entertained. Those kinds of shows are an escape.”