“Oh yeah? Now which sister is she?” He returned the pasta to the pot. “Aren’t there like twenty MacAllister girls running around?”
“No, but there are five,” I said, laughing. “Millie is the oldest—she’s the event planner at Cloverleigh Farms. Then Felicity—she went to culinary school, and she worked in restaurants for a while but for the last few years she’s been a food scientist.”
“Really? Like test kitchen stuff?”
“Yes,” I said, enjoying the view of Gianni moving capably and confidently at the stove. He still wore his jeans and white shirt from last night. It was a wrinkled mess, but the sleeves were rolled up, exposing his solid forearms, and he looked so good, perfectly at ease in the small kitchenette as he made dinner for us without one word of complaint about the lack of gourmet ingredients or luxury appliances. I recalled undressing him last night, and what his body had looked like beneath his clothes. The wind continued to whistle at the windows and the snow still fell, but inside me a warm, comforting feeling spread from the center of my belly to the tips of my fingers and toes. Realizing I’d stopped speaking, I refocused on what I was saying. “And then after their dad married Frannie Sawyer, they had twin girls, Audrey and Emmeline. They’re in high school now.”
“Jesus.” Gianni shook his head. “That’s a lot of girls in one house. I feel bad for their dad. No way could I handle that.”
“I take it you don’t want kids?”
He added the sauce to the pasta and stirred it. “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it in any real way. I’m not ready to grow up myself yet, you know? How the fuck would I manage raising a kid?”
I laughed. “I can’t imagine.”
“Babies make me nervous.”
I set my wineglass on the table next to the bed. “Babies make you nervous?”
“Yes! They’re so tiny and breakable, and they need so many things. You constantly have to feed them or change them or carry them around. And they’re always there. You have zero freedom once you have kids.” He picked up his wineglass and turned to face me. “My cousin Sam said after his wife had a baby, they pretty much never left the house again. And it’s not like they stayed in and had sex all the time—he said they never even did it anymore because they were always too tired or the baby interrupted them.”
“Yes, well, babies don’t really get the concept of waiting until it’s convenient to need things.”
“Exactly.” Gianni took a drink. “Plus, having a kid with someone is like a major commitment. You basically have to be willing to spend the rest of your life with that one person.”
“You don’t think you could be faithful to one person?” Okay, this was good. Something negative about him.
“I could be faithful,” he said finally, staring into his glass. “I don’t ruin relationships by cheating. I just ruin them by leaving. But mostly I avoid them in the first place.”
“Why is that?”
His shoulders rose as he met my curious gaze. “I really don’t know.”
“Come on. There must be a reason.”
“When things start to get serious, I just get fidgety or something. I feel like it’s time to move on, so I do. I’ve never felt like this is it, this is the one I’ll want forever. It’s not just with relationships—it’s with jobs, apartments, cities. It’s like I’m never satisfied with where I am and always need the rush of a new thing.”
“But maybe you’re not giving the thing or the person you have a chance. Maybe the rush would be replaced by something even better.”
He thought about that for a minute. “But that’s a risk.”
I laughed. “Yeah. It is.”
“And what if I take it and feel nothing? Or what if I take it and I’m not good at it? Or what if I like the something better, but the other person doesn’t?” He shook his head. “My way is better for everyone involved.”
“In that case,” I said, “keep using those condoms. You should not get married or have kids.”
“Told you.” He lifted his glass to his lips. “By the way, I bought more at the gas station. Just putting that out there in case you felt like reconsidering the whole no-more-sex rule.”
“I won’t.” But my stomach jumped as I reached for my phone. “Give me a minute to call Winnie.”
“Wait, what about you? Do you want kids?”