It was settled. I’d do the show.
I got out of bed and headed for the shower, my mind made up.
Except five minutes later, it still wasn’t sitting right with me, leaving her so quickly. It felt like running away. And what were things going to be like when I returned?
I knew fatherhood was forever, and I intended to be a father to my child, but what was I going to be to Ellie? What did she want me to be? What did I want us to be?
I felt like I’d fallen overboard and couldn’t swim, couldn’t even tell which way was up.
Yesterday morning seemed very far away.
On the drive to Abelard, I decided I needed to tell my parents immediately. It didn’t feel right keeping this from them, even though I was worried they were going to blame me for everything. But first, I’d make sure telling them was okay with Ellie.
Even though Monday was her day off too, I figured I’d find her in the tasting room as usual, but she wasn’t there. I checked the restaurant, the Fournier kitchen and family room, and the front desk, but she wasn’t in any of those places. Toby, busy at reception, said he hadn’t seen her.
Worried, I texted her.
Hey. Are you working today?
I’m not sure. Feeling a little out of it.
Even more concerned, I typed three different questions and deleted them all before sending.
What’s wrong?
Duh.
Are you okay?
No, dickhead.
Can I do anything?
Yeah, fuck off.
Frowning, I typed something and hit send before I could talk myself out of it.
Are you hungry?
I’ll bring you breakfast.
No thanks.
While I was trying to think of something else to say, Winnie passed by me. “Morning, Gianni.”
“Morning.” I barely looked up from my phone, but then I thought of something and took off after her. “Winnie,” I said, following her into her office. “I want to bring Ellie something to eat. What’s something she likes in the morning?”
“Easy.” She smiled. “She adores these blueberry scones my mom makes. You’d have to go to her bakery downtown—it’s called Plum & Honey—but I promise, Ellie can’t resist them.”
“Thanks.”
Happy to have a mission, I raced out of Abelard, drove back into town, and picked up the scones. The woman behind the counter looked familiar and greeted me by name, so I figured it was Winnie’s mom.
“How are things at Etoile?” she asked as she rang me up.
“Good.”
“I’m Winnie’s mom, Frannie. Mack and I loved our dinner there. We keep meaning to come again, but it’s so hard to get in.”
“Nice to see you. And just let Winnie know when you’d like to come again. We’ll get you in.”
“Great.” She beamed as she handed me the bag of scones. “Are these for Ellie?”
“Yes. I heard she likes them.”
“They’re her favorite,” Frannie confirmed. “Say hello for me.”
“I will, thanks.”
When I pulled up behind Abelard, I texted Ellie that I had something for her and asked if she wanted me to bring it to her room.
She replied right away saying she was in the kitchen, but she didn’t need anything. Jumping out of the car, I knocked on the back door anyway, and she answered it wearing gray joggers and the Pineview Motel sweatshirt I’d bought for her.
“Hi,” I said, unable to keep a grin off my face. “Nice shirt. Brings back memories.”
“It’s the biggest thing I own. I’ll be wearing it a lot.”
“Can I come in?”
“Suit yourself.” She shut the door behind me and we went into the kitchen, where I set the bag from Plum & Honey on the table.
“I went to the bakery. Thought maybe you’d like some scones.”
Ellie looked at the bag with suspicion. “How’d you know?”
“Winnie,” I confessed. “I ran into her in the lobby earlier.”
Ellie sat down at the table and opened the bag. “Thanks.”
I watched as she took out a scone and nibbled it, swallowing cautiously, like she wasn’t sure her stomach was going to accept the offering. “So how are you feeling?” I asked, taking a chair across from her.
She shrugged. “Mornings are the worst.”
“Can I get you something to drink?”
“No, thanks.”
“Uh, I was thinking about telling my parents today. If that’s okay with you.”
She chewed and swallowed. “Do you want me to be there?”