“There is love between us,” I said carefully.
She was silent for a minute. “What should I do about the party?”
“Nothing.” I turned around and faced her. “Just let it go on as planned. We don’t want to cause anyone any stress.”
“But if you guys aren’t even together, what’s the point?”
“We’re not not together,” I said, attempting to inject a little hope into my voice.
“So why are you living with Millie?”
“For some space. But Winnie, you can’t tell anyone I’m here.” I spoke seriously. “I mean it—not Mom, not Dad, not Hutton’s family, not anyone. I know it’s hard for you to keep secrets, but I need you to keep this to yourself.”
“I promise,” she said solemnly. “I’m locking my lips and throwing away the key.” She mimed turning a key in front of her mouth and tossing it away.
“Thank you.”
“But I’m really sad about this.” Her shoulders slumped. “I love you guys together. I want you to have a happily ever after.”
My breath hitched, and I tamped down the sob threatening to erupt. “We’ll always be friends, no matter what. That might be what our happily ever after looks like, okay?”
She folded her arms and pouted. “No. That is not how a romance ends. I don’t accept it.”
I had to laugh, even though the sadness was heavy in my heart. “Try. I will too.”
Before leaving for work, I sent Hutton a text. Congratulations on the hearing. I’m very happy for you. Have a safe trip back.
Fighting tears, I stuck my phone in my bag and went out the front door.
He’d find the letter when he got home tomorrow.
TWENTY-TWO
HUTTON
I read the text message from Felicity and frowned. Not because it wasn’t kind, but because it didn’t sound like her—there was no levity, no joy, no smile behind the words. She said she was happy, but it was obvious she wasn’t.
She was hurt, and she was pulling away from me.
My initial thought about the distance between us being helpful seemed ludicrous now. I missed her too much. I wanted to hear her voice. I wanted to call her and tell her how much it meant that she’d stuck that lotion in my bag, how I’d put it on my hands and occasionally brought my knuckles to my nose during the hearing to inhale the scent, how it helped keep me grounded in the moment and prevented my mind from spiraling.
Had my performance been perfect? No. I sweated profusely for five straight hours, struggled to breathe normally, and battled the urge to bolt for the exit sign when it was my turn to be questioned.
But I’d gotten through it. I’d faced the lions and won, or at least hadn’t let them win.
It was enough. And it was her victory too—why wasn’t she here with me to celebrate it?
“Dude, come on. Let’s go get drunk.” Wade came up behind me in the hallway and shouldered me forward. “This smokin’ hot intern told me where she and her friends hang out after work. She said they’ll be there by five-thirty.”
“I’m not interested.”
Wade groaned. “You’re never interested. But you killed it in there, don’t you want to celebrate? One drink. Come on.”
A drink did sound good. My nerves were totally shot. “Fine, one drink. But I’m not going to some bar crowded with interns. Let’s just grab a drink somewhere close, then I’ll go back to the hotel.”
“You’re such a fucking old lady. But fine.” He slung an arm around my neck. “Let’s go.”
“So what’s the deal with this engagement?” Wade asked after we’d rehashed the hearing. “You really gonna marry this chick?”
I took a swallow of whiskey. “I don’t want to discuss it.”
He laughed. “Trouble in paradise already?”
I remained silent. Took another sip.
“Listen, I get it. Women are a fucking pain in the ass. They’re never satisfied. You give them one thing, and then they want more. They say they don’t want you to change, but they do. They claim they’re happy if you’re happy, but that’s the biggest fucking lie of all.” Wade finished off his drink and put his hand up to order another. “They don’t want you to be happy. They want you to be miserable, and they go at it like it’s their job.”
“Felicity isn’t like that.”
“Well, she’s not like that now. But it changes once that ring is on your finger. Mark my words.”