“Oh, now, that I’ve been a hundred times. I am an expert.” Muriel laughed, pouring Shelby a cup of coffee. “Just tell me what’s going on. I won’t breathe a word to anyone. Especially Walt.”
Shelby ran it down quickly. She met him, fell for him, bought into that whole never-settling-down program because she had big plans of her own and she didn’t regret it. Now she wanted more, but he was still in that same place, while she was suffering. “When he said he’d never put down roots and didn’t want that whole marriage-and-family deal, I really thought that meshed pretty well with what I was looking for. At the time, anyway. He never once lied to me, Muriel. He didn’t lead me on and he’s always treated me like pure gold. Maybe I was the one who lied to him—I thought that worked for me. But things changed. I still want to travel, go to school, but I also want the whole deal—a partner, a family, the security of a relationship I can trust. I don’t want to be with a man who’s just going to dump me right about the time I think I can’t live without him.”
“Oh, little darling,” Muriel said. “I wanted all those things, too.”
“You did?”
“I did. It didn’t work out for me. I hope it works out for you.”
“But you’ve had such an amazing career!”
“I was real lucky that way,” she said. She reached across her kitchen table and grabbed both Shelby’s hands. “I have some bad news, my sweet girl. One—you can’t change people. If he doesn’t change himself, you’re flat out of luck. And two—you want what you want. Need what you need.”
“I keep looking for a compromise…”
“Shelby, there are many compromises in relationships. You learn to live with men’s underwear on the floor just shy of the hamper, toothpaste spit on the mirror, and you learn to keep your mouth shut while he drives around in circles for hours because he won’t ask for directions. But the things you feel in the marrow of your bones, the deep and meaningful desires that will make your life complete—there’s no compromise in it.”
“No?”
Muriel shook her head. “You can force yourself to go along. You might even find a way to force him to go along. But there’s bitterness in it. It’s not worth it.”
“I guess you didn’t go along,” she said. “Do you have any regrets? About being alone?”
“I’m not alone, Shelby,” she said patiently. “I’m on my own—there’s a difference. And I have the most wonderful family of friends. It is so much better than having a man I’m not compatible with, even if I thought I adored him. Believe me.”
“Of course,” Shelby said. “I so love the way you see things…”
Muriel laughed. “I’ve had so much practice at seeing things. Far more than I’m happy about.”
They talked through a whole pot of coffee, about Shelby’s life, about Muriel’s. It surprised Shelby to have anything at all in common with this Hollywood icon. After a couple of hours, Shelby asked, “What am I to do?”
“Oh, you’ll know what to do. Don’t be hasty, sweetheart. But don’t wait too long. There will be a moment of clarity, my little darling, and it will come to you that it’s time to take care of yourself. You don’t have to give up your dreams, Shelby. Never take scraps. Never.”
Sixteen
Right after Cameron Michaels had a nice holiday in Portland with his parents, brother and sister and their families, he drove to Virgin River, towing a U-Haul with his books, computer, bedroom furniture, clothes, TV and stereo equipment. He’d traded his Porsche in for a Suburban with all-wheel drive for getting around the mountains, valleys and foothills. When he pulled up in front of Doc’s house, Mel came out onto the porch immediately, all smiles. “Welcome, Doctor,” she said.
Shelby stepped out of the clinic right behind her. “Hey, Cameron,” she said. “How was the drive?”
“Not bad,” he said. “At least the sun’s out here. It’s wet and ugly in Portland.”
“Leave the trailer and everything,” Mel said. “I’m going to grab the baby and walk over to Jack’s. Then the guys will help you unload. You’re going to stay with us at the house tonight, until we can get your bedroom set up.”
Shelby turned and went back into the clinic.
“I don’t want to impose,” he said.
Mel laughed. “Let me get this right. You’re coming to work in my town for a pittance and you don’t want to impose? You’ll stay with us at least tonight, longer if necessary.”