She laughed at him. “Yeah. Like that’s possible…”
“These bad nights, I’ve had a ton of them,” he said. “When it just feels like things work out for everyone else. But if I was trying to get you drunk, you’d be drinking the Chevis and I’d be drinking the champagne. That’s Kool-Aid. You’ll be fine. I, however, am slowly becoming pain free. Tell me about it. The wedding. Come on, make me laugh.”
She took another sip, getting to the bottom of her first drink and sliding the glass away from her. “Well, let’s see. They met five months ago when they had this passionate first date or something, then didn’t see each other for two months, then got back together. They’ve been a couple for two or three whole months. Both of them claim it was love at first sight. They can hardly keep their hands off each other. There was enough steam in that room to make my hair go straight.”
If that wasn’t disgusting enough, she told him, the whole reception was loaded with longtime girlfriends of hers who were madly in love with wonderful, loving, sexy men whom they’d found in the most unexpected places. She, however, had had lousy luck with the opposite sex. Since about the fourth grade.
That got them started, talking and laughing about the worst dates and relationships imaginable. They went over the disastrous dates, hookups that looked like they might turn into stalkers, their most embarrassing setups. For a while it was like horror-dating one-upsmanship, but it began to put them both in a better mood. Someone to find the humor in all of it helped. It seemed they were two people who just never scored good partners at all. He was thirty-six and she was thirty-one and neither had found the right one. While they talked, he occasionally held her hand, the hand that rested on the table. With either of them hardly aware, more than an hour had passed, and it had passed with some laughter and pleasure, surprising her more than him. He lifted two fingers; two more drinks were delivered.
“What kind of odds do you give them?” he asked. “The bride and groom?”
“I’m the last person you should ask about that,” she said. “Turns out I’m not much of a judge.”
“Join the club,” he said. “Well, I wish them the best.” He grinned at her. “And I wish you the best, Brandy. This thing you’re going through—it’s going to pass. Just looking at you, talking with you through a couple of drinks, you’re going to land on your feet, find the right guy. Tell me something. What’s a woman like you looking for in a guy?”
“Are we talking about a date? Or something more than that?”
“How about both?” he said. “Start with the date.”
“Okay, in a date—good manners. That’s my only requirement for an evening out, as long as the guy is likable and I have an attraction. For the rest, I have this list. There are ten things, ranked.”
He burst out laughing. “Are you kidding me?”
“I am not,” she said indignantly. “My Aunt Kate told me a long time ago, make a list. She’s always right about everything, so I made a list. It’s a great list. There’s one problem. Sometimes I lie to myself about whether he’s got list qualities. When I do that, I pay. Big.”
“I gotta know, Brandy. Give me the list.”
“I can’t. It’s very private.”
“Listen,” Cam said. “I might need a list. Maybe that’s my problem—no list. Tell me about it. I promise, I won’t tell a soul.”
“Well,” she said reluctantly, “I might get some of the order mixed up. Four through seven are kind of interchangeable. And I can’t talk about number one, you’ll just have to let that go.”
“Okay,” he said. “Go.”
“Number two is humor. Then honesty. He has to be committed. Trusting. Tidy. Not anal and fussy, just not an unbearable slob. Good-looking—I mean to me. Not necessarily a hottie hard-body, but a man I find attractive, you know? And bear in mind, I think Liam Neeson is hot,” she added, making Cam laugh. “He has to like children. I know it’s the kiss of death to say that to a new boyfriend, so I try to keep it to myself, but I want children. At thirty-one, I don’t have all that much time left. He should make a decent living. And find me irresistible.”
He sat back in some surprise. “That’s a very good list. A well-thought-out list.”
“Thank you. I put a lot of time into it.”
He shook his head. If he were to make a list, that one would suffice. In fact, he couldn’t think of a thing on that list he couldn’t fulfill, if the woman found him attractive, that is. And yet, he was still alone. “A perfect list.”