The battery of viral tests that Willem had gone through at Schiphol had come back with generally favorable results that had been duly piped into PanScan, which had deemed it acceptable for him to sit under an umbrella at a canal-side pub, provided it wasn’t too crowded, and have a beer with his husband.
But he just couldn’t bring himself to tell Remi about ERDD. The sudden intimacy of being back with him, the norMALness of the pub, the canal traffic gliding to and fro—the very smallness and neatness of this old Dutch town—just made it inconceivable. To mention this insane Internet stuff would be like tossing garbage into the canal.
“This thing in Texas, Remi. It is all about geoengineering. You are going to hear about it eventually.”
“Sounds as if I’m hearing about it now!” Remigio quipped.
“I mean, on the news. Internet.”
“I know what you mean, Wim.”
“What does that make you think of?”
“What, geoengineering?”
“Yes.”
“Are you using me as a focus group?” This was an old joke between them. Willem ignored it and let the question dangle. Remigio gazed out over the canal, took a sip of beer, then grimaced and cocked his head from side to side in an on the one hand . . . on the other hand way. “I recoil.”
“How so?”
“I feel like the Greens are going to give me an earful about how terrible it is.” With comically exaggerated paranoia, Remi looked around to see whether any university folk were in earshot. “It is terrible, right?” His eyebrows were raised in mock horror.
“It cools things down, but it doesn’t fix ocean acidification, which is a real problem. People don’t approve of even talking about it.”
“Ahh, I’ve lost track of all the things I can get in trouble for even talking about.”
“Exactly, so it creates a bubble. One goes for years without hearing it mentioned. Because it is such a strict taboo. But then, one goes to Texas and . . .” Willem pointed both index fingers up in the air and pretended to fire six-guns with abandon, à la Yosemite Sam, while making “Kew! Kew!” sound effects.
Remigio nodded. “Texas. Nice boots, by the way.”
“Thank you. Yes. You’ve never been there, have you?”
“No.”
“It is this whole vast country-within-a-country where some people don’t have the slightest compunction about . . .”
“Discussing the forbidden topic?”
“Fuck discussing it, they’re actually doing it. Actual geoengineering. It’s happening. The queen and I saw it.”
“These Texans want her to support it?”
“I don’t exactly know. They’re not stupid. They understand that her role is ceremonial.”
Remigio considered that. “All right, let’s consider the alternative. These Texans could have pored over the Grondwet and then invited the minister of climate policy. Or the prime minister, even.”
Willem shook his head. “Impossible. The committees that would have gotten involved . . . the leaks . . . the politics . . . just unthinkable.”
“So,” Remi said, “when politics reaches that point where so many things are unthinkable . . . impossible . . . taboo . . . does, maybe, the queen begin to have real power again?”
“Yes. That’s the simple answer. Yes. But she shouldn’t.”
“Because Saskia is such a terrible and irresponsible tyrant?” Remi asked. Just teasing him.
“Of course not. Nor will Princess Charlotte be when it’s her turn. It’s just that this is not how it’s supposed to work.”
“And yet,” Remigio said, “we have a queen. And she has your loyalty.”
THE LINE OF ACTUAL CONTROL
Laks had at least done enough research by this point to expect the PowerPoint deck, so that was no surprise. And Ravi had found online crib sheets for the quiz, which looked pretty easy once you knew how to spot the trick questions.
The deck, making no effort to put a cheerful face on the business, opened with old stock footage of mushroom clouds rising from nuclear detonations. The voiceover was in English with Hindi and Punjabi subtitles. Dates and words were superimposed on the fireballs: USA 1945, USSR 1949, China 1964, India 1974. “Nuclear bombs have existed for the better part of a century, and yet they have only been used in battle twice, at the very beginning of the atomic age, at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.” Pictures now of devastated Japanese cities and maimed civilians. “It is extraordinary in all of human history for man to have developed a weapon but then voluntarily refrained from its use. Why? Because it was understood that the consequences were undesirable.” Pretty dry understatement there, as they were now watching clips of old sci-fi movies showing grisly post-nuke effects and horror-show makeup.