How am I supposed to be angry at him when he thinks he is unlovable? A pain rips through my chest at the thought of him talking about himself this way.
I slide off the bed and walk straight into his chest. His arms stay plastered against his sides, so I grab them and wrap them around my waist.
“Just because you make selfish choices doesn’t mean you’re a selfish person. At least not completely.” The man protected his brothers from their alcoholic father for years without any kind of payback. If that isn’t a selfless sacrifice, I don’t know what is.
“Your logic is half-baked at best.”
“So is yours, seeing as you called yourself unlovable.”
His body tenses. “I’m stating facts.”
“I don’t know what bullshit your father told you over the years, but it’s not true. Your brothers love you.”
“They’re obligated to.”
“No one is obligated to love someone else. Blood or not.”
He takes a deep breath. “You’re right.”
I smile up at him. “I could get used to hearing those words.”
He reaches up and cups my cheek. “Give me a chance and I’ll tell you them every single day.”
I sigh and look away. “I don’t know.”
“Tell me what’s stopping you.”
“You don’t do relationships.”
“Good thing I’m married then.”
I shake my head. “Our marriage isn’t even real.”
“A scrap of paper doesn’t define what we are. Feelings do, and mine are a hundred percent genuine.”
I avoid his penetrating gaze. “What if my feelings are telling me to run?”
“It’s cute you think you can outrun me, but I’ll give you a head start just to make things interesting.”
I stammer. “Do you always have an answer for everything?”
“Not for the one that matters most.” The way he looks at me stirs up something deep inside of me.
Longing.
I want to give him a chance, regardless of the potential fallout.
You might get hurt.
I might, but I might miss out on something special because I’m too afraid of the what ifs. I’m done being that person. Even if it means getting hurt, I’d rather try and fail than never try at all.
I stand on the tips of my toes and press my lips against his. He holds me tight against his chest, as if he is afraid of letting me go.
I pull away, only to clasp onto his stubbled chin. “This could be a disaster, but I’m willing to try.”
He shuts me up by pushing his lips against mine, sealing our new deal.
The way he kisses me is different than any time before. He cups my face with the palms of his hands as his lips mold against mine, teasing me until I feel dizzy. His thumb brushes across my cheek back and forth, and heat rushes down my spine straight to my belly. He makes me feel cherished. Protected.
Loved in a way that makes me never want to come back down to reality.
I could spend forever being kissed like this and still feel like it isn’t enough. While Declan might not be the best with words, his kiss says it all.
He is falling in love with me. No translation necessary.
35
IRIS
T he next weekend, I wake up to absolute chaos downstairs. I roll out of Declan’s bed, run to my room to get dressed in something other than one of his T-shirts, and freshen up in the restroom.
It doesn’t take a super sleuth to find out where all the noise is coming from. I make my way through the house, following the sound of Cal’s voice.
“Look who finally decided to join us!” Cal claps his hands as I walk into the living room.
“What is going on?” I check out the usual spread of donuts, mimosas, cigars, and other contraband materials.
Declan doesn’t bother answering me as he stares at the TV. With the way he analyzes the black screen, one would think it was actually turned on.
“Your husband here invited us over to watch an F1 race.”
“Us?”
“Rowan and Zahra are late, as per usual.” Cal grabs a donut and demonstrates what he thinks they’re doing.
“They’re coming here?”
“Surprise?” Cal looks over at the man in question.
“The batteries are dead.” He announces before leaving the room. If I expected any answers, I’m not about to get them from him.
“He really didn’t tell you?”
“No. It must have slipped his mind.” Or he wanted to surprise you.
My heart could possibly burst from the reality that Declan planned this all for me. I dropped the idea after he protested it, so knowing he went out of his way to plan it anyway…