Declan shoots Cal a scathing look. “I think you’ve done enough celebrating.”
“She’s a big girl. If she wants to drink on her wedding night, it’s her choice.”
“She’s right here.” I stand on my two feet. The room spins around me, and I grab the back of my chair to catch myself. “I’m fine. Stop fussing over me.”
“You smell like spring break in Mexico.”
Something about his comment has me muffling my laugh with a shaky palm.
His lips pull down into a frown. I take a few wobbly steps toward him before clutching onto his tux so I don’t fall over. I use one hand to push the corner of his scowl up into a smile. “There. All better.”
“We’re going home.” Declan’s arm wraps around me. The move reminds me of our kiss in the church, which only makes my cheeks hot underneath a pound of makeup.
I pout. “But why?”
“You’re intoxicated.”
“It’s a wedding! Our wedding!” I struggle to focus on Declan’s three heads. “Hey, why aren’t you drunk?”
His three heads merge into one angry version. “Because one of us has some self-control,” he snaps.
“It’s all Cal’s fault!” I blurt out.
“Hey!” Cal throws his arms up.
“He did steal a bottle from the bar. I saw him take it myself,” Rowan backs me up.
Declan points at Rowan. “Don’t get me started on you.”
The way the three of them interact has me raising a brow in Zahra’s direction. “See. I told you they never get along.”
Zahra smiles. “Yet.”
“I like her already,” I say aloud instead of in my head.
“Let’s go,” Declan snaps.
“Don’t forget to text me! I want all the details,” Zahra yells.
I throw her a thumbs-up over my shoulder. Turns out she is the only other person besides Cal and Rowan who knows about the whole sham. Not that I would tell Declan. I’m pretty sure he would murder Rowan for risking our big secret like that.
Declan steers me toward the exit of the ballroom.
“Wait!” the wedding planner yells. “You can’t go yet! We haven’t even tossed the bouquet!”
Declan lets out the longest sigh ever. My chest vibrates from withheld laughter.
He turns me toward him. “What’s so funny about this?”
“You hate every second of this.”
“Are we getting off on each other’s displeasure now?”
“Like you’re one to judge. That’s your favorite kind of foreplay.”
His reddened cheeks make me smile.
One point for Team Iris.
Tati has the DJ request for all the ladies to gather around on the dance floor for the bouquet toss. Declan holds on to me as if he’s scared I might topple over due to my unsteadiness. I imagine he only does so because he wants to make sure people buy our marriage.
So much for forgetting about what he said in the church.
My mom passes me the bouquet with a knowing smile. “I was holding onto it for you.”
“You’re the bestest mom in the whole wide world.”
She shakes her head. “Take care of my girl, Declan. Try to get her to sleep before she enters the drunk crying phase.”
“Tell me she’s joking,” he orders as my mom walks away.
I giggle.
“Fuck me.”
I pat his cheek. “Only in your dreams, sweet husband of mine.”
“Did you burn off all your brain cells tonight?”
“Come on!” a woman yells. “Get on with it, you two!”
I turn around, giving the crowd my back.
“One. Two. Three!” I launch the bouquet over my head.
I turn on my heels and almost slip from the rush, only for Declan to catch me and pull me into his firm chest.
Firm chest? Ugh. Maybe you are drunk after all.
The bouquet lands in someone’s open arms with a slap. I don’t recognize the woman who caught it, but the crowd around her squeals as they try to latch onto my bouquet with greedy hands.
“Finally.” Declan moves us toward the door before the DJ announces Declan's turn with the garter belt.
Oh shit.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
I bristle as he squeezes my hip. Cal slaps a hundred-dollar bill in the DJ’s hand as Rowan drags a chair out to the middle of the dance floor.
Cal waltzes over to help me into the chair, being mindful of the layers of lace and tulle swirling around me like a parachute. “Careful, Iris, your husband bites.”