“Who says it’s unhealthy?”
Oh. My. Lord. Either Declan is flirting with me or I was murdered by a wild animal and have officially ascended into heaven.
Or hell. Depends on how you look at it.
My toes curl inside of my boots before I have a chance to squash the warmth pooling in my belly.
What has gotten into you? Toes curling? Next thing you know, you’ll be swapping out your abstinence card for a healthy dose of Declan’s dick.
Stop thinking about his dick!
I clear my throat. “It’s fine. All is forgiven.” I’ll say just about anything to make him go away. There are far too many feelings happening inside of me to handle any more of this conversation. Scary kinds of things that I refuse to explore while he assesses me for weaknesses.
He rubs the back of his neck.
Is he…nervous?
No. There is no possible way.
Right?
I’m so mystified at the idea of Declan being self-conscious, I completely miss whatever he says. “What?”
“I called Yakura and told him we wouldn’t be able to send him the proposal until we came back from our trip.”
I nearly throw my back out from sitting up in my chair. “Why would you do that?”
“Because some things are more important.”
Don’t you dare ask.
My lips part.
No.
But, I counter.
Who cares why he did it? Asking him about it is a terrible idea. It almost seems forbidden in a way, which I know is ridiculous.
I ignore the strong voice in my head cautioning me away. “What things?”
He deflects. “Did you really mean what you said earlier?”
“You might have to clarify because I said a lot of things.”
“That you have spent the last three years compromising your happiness by working for me?”
I release a heavy sigh. “I was angry.”
“That’s not an answer to my question.”
I shoot him a withering glare. “What do you want me to say? I’ve been working for you for three years already and what do I have to show for it? I have no life, no friends other than Cal, and no future besides helping you accomplish yours. I married you despite all the red flags, and I’m supposed to give birth to a child knowing full well you want nothing to do with them. Of course I’m not happy. In fact, I’m terrified.”
That last part hurts to admit.
He blinks. Once. Twice. Three times.
I thought I would feel better after pouring my heart out, but rather, I feel sick to my stomach. Declan is far from perfect in many ways, but that doesn’t make him a bad person. He doesn’t yell at me or call me names or make me feel uncomfortable. His pay is double the usual salary, and I’ve been able to save a nice nest egg because of that.
Is he the easiest boss in the world? Absolutely not. He expects just as much from me as he does of himself. His standards are as exacting as his attitude, but that doesn’t mean he is unfair. If anything, he pushes me to do better.
And you just admitted how much you resent it all.
My stomach churns. “About what I said—”
“What would make you happy?”
I think being struck by a lightning bolt would have been less shocking than his question. Not once has Declan ever inquired about such a thing, and I’m not entirely sure how to go about answering it. Lots of things could make me happy, but there are very few within his immediate control.
“I—”
“Don’t think. Just speak.”
I take a deep breath. “First off, I want to be treated like a human being with wants, needs, and feelings.”
“Unfortunately, evolution hasn’t seemed to work out that little issue yet.”
I glare in his general direction. “I’m serious. That means you respect my time, energy, and willingness to go above and beyond to make our fake marriage work. You need to remember that this isn’t for me. You are the one who screwed up a perfectly good wedding contract with Bethany, and I’m the next best thing. I can be your asset or your enemy. It’s up to you to decide.”
“Anything else?” Humor seeps into his voice.
“Are you laughing at me?”
“Only on the inside.”
My eyes narrow into tiny slits. “Yes, actually. There is one more thing.
Stop calling Dreamland Tokyo your project. We both have spent two years working on that proposal together, and I lost about ten friends and a boyfriend in the process, so whether you like it or not, we’re a team. I’d like to be treated as such from this moment on.”