Declan and I barely speak throughout the next day. I keep to my area and he keeps to his, with neither of us rehashing whatever the hell happened last night. I’m thankful that he doesn’t. Together we are dancing on a fine line, and neither one of us wants to take the plunge.
It’s complete mamihlapinatapai3 between us , with stolen glances across the conference table with no intention of seeking more. At least not for me.
Although Declan sure is trying. His latest strategy to rope me in with foreign words that have no direct English translation seems to be working. Now I spend my breaks looking up new words and adding them to a running list I have, just in case Declan tries to outdo me with one.
I never thought I could have this much fun with words, but Declan seems to be keeping me on my toes. He has already sent me two words today, neither one romantic like yesterday, but each make me laugh based on our context.
The first message nearly outed me for texting in the middle of his father’s biweekly board meeting presentation. I’m not sure what Declan was thinking by sending me a text of the word backpfeifengesicht4. I choked on my water as I searched the word and found out it means something along the lines of a face that badly needs a fist. I’m convinced there is no other word more fitting for Declan’s father, although I can’t pronounce anything beyond the first syllable.
It turns out Declan does have a funny side. He just happens to be so nerdy, I need Google to help me figure his jokes out. To be honest, it’s kind of fun. The words are so difficult to pronounce that I don’t even feel the need to stress over them. It’s the meaning behind them that matters.
If I continue down this path, I foresee myself slipping further into uncharted territory with Declan. So, while I can have fun, I need to keep my guard up, because a few funny messages don’t translate into anything more than what it is: two people who can never be more than friends, no matter what.
“Why do you keep smiling at your phone?” Cal pauses his typing to look over at me.
Shit. “No reason.” I tuck my phone away in a drawer.
You were smiling? Pull it together and stop rereading text messages like a lovesick teenager.
“Right. Exactly how stupid do you think I am?”
“Are you sure you want me to answer that?”
His withering glare reminds me of an angry golden retriever. “I find it interesting that my brother has been equally invested in his phone today.
During a board meeting no less.”
Deny. Deny. Deny. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Really? Because anytime he put his phone away, you picked yours up.”
“Purely circumstantial evidence at best.”
“Except I was sitting right next to you. I saw his name flash across your screen twice within five minutes.”
I wag my finger at him. “It’s rude to read other people’s messages.”
“I couldn’t care less about whatever nonsense you two weirdos text each other. I care more about your feelings.”
His comment draws a chuckle from me. “Your worries are misplaced.”
“What kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t warn you away from my brother?”
“Fair point. Except you’re forgetting it’s my job to know everything about your brother. There’s very little you could warn me about that I wouldn’t already be aware of.”
“That’s exactly my worry. You know everything and still volunteered to marry him.”
“Because I care.”
“But have you ever asked yourself why you care?”
“Because…” I could fill in the blank with so many responses, each equally questionable from Cal’s perspective.
Declan gave me a chance to learn from my mistakes when other bosses fired me within a week for “careless” typos and an inability to work fast enough. He pushed me to try harder and think of the big picture, which helped me build enough confidence in myself. Unbeknownst to him, he helped me grow into a woman who believed in herself, and for that, I owe him so much.
Cal sighs. “It’s okay to like him. I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t, but I want you to be prepared for the worst-case scenario.”
“And what’s that exactly? That he breaks my heart?”
“Worse. He makes you fall in love with him.”
1 ? Noun, Tagalog: A feeling of exhilaration or elation caused by an exciting or romantic experience.
2 ? Verb, Greek: To do something with pleasure.
3 ? Noun, Yaghan: A look shared between two people, each wishing that the other would initiate something that they both desire but which neither wants to begin.