BROCK:
Door #1. Number 2 sounds like a dinosaur.
SEWANEE:
Agreed.
Can’t you just see ol’ Merriam and Webster debating this one?
BROCK:
The men who wrote the DICK-shun-airy? Absolutely.
Or is it dick-SHUNNERY?
SEWANEE:
That’s just the tip of the iceberg. What about areole?
BROCK:
Not sure that’s the tip of an *iceberg*.
SEWANEE:
Haha. Are we going with the technically correct pronunciation, even though I’ve never heard it said like that? Ever? Aw-REE-oh-luh?
BROCK:
You’ve obviously been out of the Romance game for a while. MW recently added air-ee-OH-luh as an official alt pronunciation.
SEWANEE:
NO!
BROCK:
Yes.
SEWANEE:
They must be turning over in their graves!
BROCK:
Hope they don’t bruise their air-ee-OH-luhs.
air-ee-OH-ly?
It’s complicated when there’s two of them.
SEWANEE:
I have another question.
BROCK:
Is it above the neck?
SEWANEE:
Way above. Why is the sky blue?
BROCK:
ha.
Seriously?
SEWANEE:
Yeah, I’ve always wondered.
BROCK:
Simple: reflection.
WAIT NO. Refraction.
SEWANEE:
Wrong. Particles. sends link to NASA website
BROCK:
That article is incorrect.
SEWANEE:
Oh, NASA’s incorrect?
BROCK:
Sarah. These people staged the moon landing, for Pete’s sake.
Hey here’s a question: who’s Pete?
SEWANEE:
?
BROCK:
Pete! Pete’s sake. For the love of Pete. Sneaky Pete. Honest to Pete. Who tf is Pete??
SEWANEE:
. . . God?
BROCK:
Oh my Pete!
*
January 21
BROCK:
Why is the OCEAN blue?
SEWANEE:
Well, Brock, it’s not always blue. It can also be green, or gray, or other colors depending on how the light bounces. It only appears blue because water absorbs colors in the red part of the light spectrum which acts like a filter, leaving behind colors in the blue part of the spectrum.
BROCK:
*Brando’s Godfather voice* you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married and give me SCIENCE.
SEWANEE:
Forgive me, Don Corleone. There is no science anymore. FAKE NEWS.
BROCK:
ALTERNATIVE FACTS
SEWANEE:
WITCH HUNT
Grazie, Godfather.
BROCK:
Prego.
From: Jason Ruiz
To: Brock McNight; Westholme, Sarah
Date: January 23, 10:27 AM
Subject: Casanova–ep 1
Hey you two,
Just wanted to let you know the first ep is locked and it is DOPE. SO good. It’s all set to drop on Valentine’s Day. Fans are stoked. The preorders are through the roof. As I’d said, I’ll send out payment at the beginning of each month, so your March 1 deposit will reflect two weeks of sales for episode 1 and one week of sales for episode 2.
Sarah, I’ll have pickups to you for episode 3 tomorrow.
Thanks!
JR
AS SEWANEE PLACED eight used mugs in the studio sink, Damian, an engineer with dreads down to his ass, entered the kitchen. “Hey D,” she said.
“Hey,” he sighed, smiling wearily, and opened the fridge. He retrieved a mason jar of his homemade kombucha. He took a pull on it as if it were a cold beer.
She inclined her head at him. “Tough day?”
He shook his back at her tightly: later.
Just as, into the kitchen, walked Doug Carrey.
Jolted, Sewanee spun back to the sink.
Not once in the last eight years and now twice in the last two months? Why? How? Help.
“So, brothah, we all good?” Doug asked Damian.
“All good, my man, you’re free to go,” Damian replied. Doug pulled him into a bro-y handshake/back pat combo and Damian said, “Great job,” but Sewanee knew him well enough to know he didn’t mean it.
“Who woulda thunk reading a book out loud could be so wicked hahd, huh? Even a kids’ book!” Damian took another swallow of kombucha as Doug floated his head around the kitchen and living room. “This house is sick. Who owns it?”
“Mark Clark.”
Doug snorted. “That practically rhymes.” It did rhyme. “He ever think of selling?”
Sewanee kept her hands in the sink, her gaze down, doing her best to disappear.
“No,” Damian answered. “I mean, I don’t think so. Not with the studio and all. Right, Swan?”
Shit.
Doug angled his head toward the disappearing act at the sink. “Waaaaitaminute, what a pissah! Swan?!”