I grunted, slowly realizing I’d been played.
But my heart was still all over the place, and I was unable to calm myself down, to kill the idea that something might have happened to Rosie or ignore the fact that, with an ocean between us, there wouldn’t be a single thing I could have done. “Rosie’s okay?”
Lina snorted. “I’m not answering that.”
“Lina, te lo juro—” I hated my harsh tone. “Is she okay, or not?”
Lina’s exhale was long, loaded with what felt like sympathy. Laced with anger, too. “Just… calm down, will you? Nothing happened.”
Only when I heard the confirmation, did I breathe a little easier. Only slightly.
Then, she added, “At least nothing other than you happened.”
Swallowing, I tried really hard to keep myself from barking something I wouldn’t be able to take back. I was well aware of how much I’d hurt Rosie. Nothing I could say would change that. I hated myself enough for it. I’d never forget the look on her face or forgive myself for putting it there. For inflicting on her a single second of pain.
Probably feeling the swing in my mood, Taco came to my side and rested his head on my knee. I patted him behind his ears, obtaining a quick woof of appreciation.
“Is that Taco?” Lina asked, her tone changing, lighting up. “Can you give him a kiss from—”
“No.”
“Ugh. I don’t like you too much right now, Lucas.”
I shared the feeling. “What do you want, Lina? Besides almost giving me a heart attack and telling me something I already knew.”
“Well, at least you know you suck. That’s a good start. I thought you might be in denial, but at least it doesn’t sound like you are. Good, because—”
“Lina,” I growled. “I don’t have energy for whatever this is. That was why I didn’t call you back.”
Another long sigh came through the line. “I was hoping you wouldn’t, but you sound as miserable as she does. If not more.”
Something inside of me stirred, and I didn’t deserve to ask, or to know, but the words left my lips before I could stop them. “She’s…” I could barely finish, “miserable?”
“Well…” Lina trailed off, making me shift in my chair. “That’s a loaded question, primo. How are you doing?”
Miserable would be putting it lightly. The two things that had kept me going were Taco, who barely left my side, and Abuela, whose patience was obviously running thin. “I’m fine.”
“Oh yeah? You’re fine.” My cousin dropped her voice, mimicking mine. “Well, Rosie’s fine, too. And by the way, she hasn’t told me whatever is wrong with you. That’s who my best friend is, loyal to a fault.”
The memory of her beautiful face, looking at me with hope as she asked me to be with her, to come with me, flashed behind my eyes. And I… God, I wanted to break something. I struggled for air, too. I didn’t deserve her loyalty.
Taco nuzzled my leg, demanding my attention, so I resumed the scratching.
“Lo sé, chico,” I murmured. Then I told Lina, “Okay, if that’s all then…”
“Wow,” Lina spat. “Just wow. You really are a bigger idiot than I thought you were.”
“I don’t have time for this—”
“No,” she cut me off. And the change in her voice was clear as day. I was going to listen to whatever she had called me to say. And if I hung up, she’d find a way. “You know you deserve to hear you’re being an idiot. That’s why you haven’t had the balls to pick up or return my calls. Because you don’t want to hear the truth. Because if you did hear the truth, you might open your eyes and see things differently and you might end up having to really dig into that hard head of yours.”
My jaw clamped shut.
Relentless, she continued, “I told you, Lucas. I warned you. I said, If you hurt her, I’ll murder you. Rosie’s my best friend. She’s my family here in New York. She was all I had before Aaron.” A pause, and I could tell, she was trying to rein it in. “And I wasn’t joking. I should want to murder you. But I said all of that when I assumed you two were just secretly fucking each other’s brains out. For fun.”
“It wasn’t like that.” I grunted. “It never was.”
“I know,” she admitted. “I know that now. That’s the only reason why I might not try to kill you. Because now I know the whole story.”