A strange sound left my throat. I opened my mouth to tell her all the many and different ways her idea could go sideways, but I stopped myself. Because maybe, just maybe…
“It could work,” Lina said as if she’d just read my mind. “Listen, my first idea had been sex. Orgasms. I was going to suggest you get a new vibrator when you mentioned the endorphins, but I think you need the real thing this time around.”
I blinked, trying to process everything.
“You know I’m not good with hookups and one-night stands,” I replied.
“Exactly,” she answered quickly. “You need to be romanced before getting to the hanky-panky.”
“The hanky-panky?”
She ignored my question. “That’s why I think you should re-download Tinder. Or Bumble. Or whatever app the Zuckerberg of dating software has come up with this week.”
“A dating app.” I could hear the thick skepticism coating my voice. “What about the old-fashioned fish? I think I liked that better. Can we get back to that? Nothing good has ever come out of a dating app. Not for me.”
“Listen.” Lina cleared her throat. “I know you’ve sworn off apps—and men—for a reason, a good one at that. The last man you dated in particular, Assface Number Five, was… well, let’s just say he was lucky I didn’t borrow Aaron’s car and accidentally run him over.”
“Lina!” I gasped. “We’ve talked about you saying stuff like that.”
“Just a soft brush of the bumper against his ass. That’s all I’m saying.”
I shook my head. “You want to run over every man I’ve ever dated.”
Lina laughed but it sounded dark and… bloodthirsty. “Maybe because they’ve all been assfaces.” I closed my eyes, feeling… helpless and tired. Mostly because she was right. “My point is,” Lina continued, “that the long line of idiots you’ve dated is what somehow led you to write that phenomenal debut. And you can’t count on going down to Central Park, dropping a scarf, and hoping the man of your dreams finds it and proceeds to search the city—”
“Yeah,” I cut her off. “I don’t have the time, I get it.”
“You don’t,” she agreed gently. “So maybe, just maybe, downloading a dating app and getting back out there might change something. It might find you some inspiration. Jump-start the whole thing. Or clear your head and have some fun. That can’t be so bad, either.”
I hugged my middle with my arms, not wanting to accept that what she was saying made sense.
“Maybe you could even treat this as…” She trailed off, then continued more enthusiastically, “As research. Field work. As if you were running an experiment. Pick a man and do whatever you need to get those creative juices running. You don’t even need to tell him.”
An experiment.
I didn’t like the last part, though. I didn’t think I had the guts to trick someone into… whatever Lina was implying. Being dishonest had never been my thing.
Although I had lied to Dad for months, I reminded myself. And now I was lying—by omission—to Lina by not telling her that I was living in her apartment while she was away. With her cousin.
“It’s worth the shot,” she encouraged.
“It probably is,” I admitted quietly. “At this point, I’ll try anything if it means I have the chance to get out of this stupid funk.” Pressure returned to the back of my eyes, and I even surprised myself when the next words left my lips. “Who knows, maybe I’ll even manage to find love for once?” The sliver of hope dawning in my chest at the thought faded quickly. “Or if it’s just not in the cards for me, I guess I’m fine daydreaming of the real thing for the rest of my days if I can manage to write about it.”
“Don’t say that, Rosie,” Lina said so softly that I felt my throat close up with… emotions. Lots of messy, intense emotions. God, I am being such a baby lately. “Of course it’s in the cards for you. Who knows, this could become one of those Hallmark movies you love so much.” She lowered her voice and announced, “Romance writer dates in search of inspiration and falls in love. Spoiler alert, it was a bestseller.” She chuckled. “And if you don’t and the guy’s a jerk, then we’ll borrow Aaron’s car, and we will make sure that man never crosses on red ever again.”
God, I loved my best friend. I loved her even if her good-intentioned but violent nature was going to get us in jail any day now.