They really were beautiful eyes, rich and brown, and when he looked at her, his gaze was so full of emotion it made her chest ache again. She didn’t know what he wanted to say, but she knew she couldn’t stay. She had to find Jacks.
And yet, it felt callous to just run from Apollo. He’d been cursed three times now. She had no idea if he even knew why. He didn’t look haunted or desperate like the last time she’d seen him, but there was something terribly vulnerable about him as he stood in the door with his palms still raised and his smile fading. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
“It’s not your fault—you were cursed.”
“I should have fought it harder.” Apollo slowly lowered his hands. “I shouldn’t have come to your room last night. I should have run away so that I wouldn’t hurt you.”
He shook his head remorsefully. His dark hair had grown longer. It fell over one eye, making him look suddenly younger as he said, “I’ve had a lot of time to think. But mostly, I’ve just thought of you.”
Evangeline’s heart cracked a little. Weeks ago, this was what she wanted to hear Apollo, uncursed, saying: he wanted her. And a part of her still wished she could want it. It made far more sense to fall in love with the prince than with the villain. But Evangeline didn’t want love that made sense, she wanted love that made her feel, love that made her want to fight and hope for the impossible.
“Whatever you’ve thought, it’s only because of the Archer’s curse. Jacks said—”
“You can’t trust anything he says,” Apollo snapped, and for a second, he looked murderous.
Evangeline backed away a step.
Apollo scrubbed a hand down his face. The rage vanished, replaced by pain. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. He’s just done so much to both of us. He’s clearly used some of his magic to make you trust him.”
Evangeline almost didn’t reply. Apollo was justified in his anger. But she didn’t want him blaming Jacks for crimes he hadn’t committed. “I know he’s done a lot of terrible things, but he hasn’t used any magic on me, and if it weren’t for him, neither of us would be alive.”
“No, Evangeline. If it weren’t for Jacks, neither of us would have ever been in danger.” Apollo dragged a hand through his hair. “I wish he didn’t have this hold on you.”
“I wish he didn’t, either,” she confessed. And she would have told Apollo that she’d really tried to love him. But that confession almost seemed as unkind as some of the things that Jacks had done. “I’m sorry, Apollo.”
He looked at her with wounded eyes. “I am, too.” But there was something off about the way he said it.
A warning pulsed inside Evangeline, telling her she needed to leave. But Apollo was too quick. She tried to dart past him, but he grabbed her and pressed her back to one of the stone angels, holding her in place with his chest and one heavy arm around her waist.
“Apollo—stop. Let me go!” She shoved against him.
“Shh, sweetheart.” He stroked her hair, unmoved by her protests. “I didn’t want to do this, but it’s for the best.”
He brushed his thumb across her temple, terrifyingly soft and sweet, and she felt the fight draining out of her limbs.
“What did you just…” Her head was too heavy to finish the question.
“It’s all right. I’ve got you.” His arm tightened around her waist.
She tried again to struggle, but she was pathetically weak—as if she were a ball of yarn trying to battle a great cat.
Apollo cupped her face with one large hand. His touch was soft, but it felt wrong, as if he wasn’t just caressing her. It felt as if he were reaching into her, as if there were invisible fingers digging into her mind, taking things they shouldn’t. Memories.
“No!” Evangeline tried in vain to struggle as she felt him snatch away the first night they met—the night Evangeline kissed him, up in the tree after Jacks had painted her lips with his blood. Although … the memory of that was fading as well.
“Don’t!” she cried. “Stop!” But Apollo merely held her tighter.
“It will be better soon.” He stroked her cheek, and the mem ory of the last time they’d been together, when they’d been kissing in the bed, when he’d wrapped his hands around her throat, when Jacks had stormed into the room and carried her away—it all disappeared.