Except me. Avelina would be good for him. She could make him stop scowling, could make him believe in love and goodness. She could love him out of that dark thought pattern he seemed to be in, thinking about his lame ankle and about his poor dead brother and how he could not save him.
But it was wrong to even think about it. He would marry Magdalen and that was that. Two weeks ago she would have never even dreamed of such a thing as marrying the Margrave of Thornbeck. But now . . .
Tears welled up in her eyes and she turned away from her friend, pretending to adjust her embroidered belt. She should tell Magdalen now. She should get it over and done, ignore the sick feeling in her stomach and just tell her.
“It is time to go downstairs.” Magdalen headed toward the door.
Avelina hesitated. But the words didn’t come, and she found herself walking through the corridor beside Magdalen.
Avelina could not help looking at her friend as they made their way down. This was the last time Magdalen would think of her as an equal, since she would tell her the truth—she would—as soon as this was over.
As they descended the last section of the stairs, everyone was already in the ballroom, and they all watched as Lady Magdalen and Avelina joined them.
Lord Thornbeck was also watching, but his gaze seemed to be on Avelina. He should have been looking at Magdalen. She was beautiful tonight. Her strawberry-blonde hair was crowned by a circlet of dried flowers. She wore a pale-blue silk cotehardie with a long-sleeved yellow underdress. She was much prettier than Avelina, and she was truly the daughter of a baron.
Avelina refused to meet Lord Thornbeck’s gaze.
She pasted on a smile, even when she saw Fronicka smirking up at her. Her father, the Duke of Geitbart, stood beside her, not looking at anyone in particular, his gaze darting around the room.
She smiled and greeted everyone who came near her, but it was as if there was a fog over her eyes and ears, dulling everything. The music was indistinct and a mist lay over the beautiful people and their beautiful clothing. Her legs were weighted down with the same dullness and she didn’t think she could dance. And yet, she did not want to draw attention to herself as she had at the last ball. Lord Thornbeck himself had come to her side so she would not have to stand alone.
But tonight there were more people, parents and guardians who would be escorting their daughters home in the next few days. Perhaps she could hide amongst them.
Lord Thornbeck suddenly appeared in front of her. He took her hand and bowed over it and kissed it so quickly she did not realize he was going to do it until it was done. His brown eyes were piercing as they stared straight into hers. “Are you well?”
“Yes, of course.” She blinked, hard, to rid herself of the dullness.
Lord Thornbeck looked very handsome. He seemed to have burned away the mist, with his bright-blue outer tunic and white sleeves, his thick dark hair combed across his forehead.
He squeezed her hand before letting it go. “You look beautiful, Lady Dorothea.”
Truly, she should blurt out the truth to him right now, at this moment.
She glanced around for Lady Magdalen. She was standing just behind her. Avelina stepped back to join her. Lord Thornbeck took the hint and greeted Magdalen, but he did not kiss her hand.
People seemed to be crowding around them, wanting to speak to Lord Thornbeck, so Avelina hurried away, farther into the room, her breath suddenly coming faster.
A few moments later Magdalen caught up with her.
“Dorothea, why did you run away? Lord Thornbeck wanted to speak to you.” Magdalen chewed on her lip, a look of concern in her eyes. “Don’t you like Lord Thornbeck?” she whispered close to her ear.
Avelina studied her friend’s expression. “What do you mean? Of course . . . I-I like him very much. Who wouldn’t? But that is certainly not important—”
“Stop saying things like that!” Magdalen shook her head and looked as if she might laugh.
Avelina’s face burned. A rock seemed to settle in the pit of her stomach.
“Magdalen, I have to tell you something. I should have told you already, and I can’t go another—”
She turned to face the Duke of Wolfberg.
“Good evening, Lady Magdalen. Lady Dorothea.” He nodded to them both.
The music started. The Duke of Wolfberg asked Magdalen to dance, and with an anxious glance at Avelina, she moved with him to the middle of the floor, along with many of the other guests. But there was still a cluster of people around Lord Thornbeck.
One of the young nobles from the first ball approached Avelina and asked her to dance. Since she was familiar with this dance, she agreed. It was much easier to forget what was looming ahead of her while she was forced to concentrate on the steps and on what her partner was saying to her. But always in the back of her mind was Lord Thornbeck, in his blue outer tunic, looking very handsome, and soon to be a distant memory.