She proceeded to explain the whole story while Magdalen stared, shook her head, and nodded for her to go on.
“I am so sorry for lying to you. I never wanted to deceive anyone. And once I was here, it seemed rather easy to assume Dorothea’s identity. No one questioned that I was her.”
“So this is why you said you could not marry Lord Thornbeck!” Magdalen slapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh, Avelina. How can you ever forgive me?”
“Forgive you?”
“For not believing you. I thought you were only trying to be kind to me, to sacrifice Lord Thornbeck so I could marry him. I didn’t understand when you said you couldn’t marry him. I knew he was planning to choose you.”
“How could you know?”
“I could tell by the way he looked at you. And then yesterday he told me so himself.”
“He told you?”
“Yes, but he was worried that you didn’t care for him, and I assured him that you did.” Magdalen put her hands up to her face. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, no, you couldn’t have known. Besides . . .” Avelina blew out a breath, trying to push back the tears. “I did care for him . . . very much.” And he cared for her. Her breath hitched and she pressed her hand over her lips to keep them from trembling.
“He fell in love with you. Perhaps . . . perhaps he will still marry you.” But even Magdalen looked doubtful.
“No. He told me tonight that he would never marry me.”
How good it had felt to be chosen by him, even in the midst of her horror at what was about to happen, at his discovering she was an imposter. It was like being in his arms after he rescued her from falling off the balcony, his fine woolen tunic against her cheek. So much heaven . . . but it could never be. Not for her. She was Avelina the servant, not Dorothea the earl’s daughter. Dear heavenly saints. How she wanted him to love her, wanted his love. The pain was so great she doubled over.
Lady Magdalen put a hand on her shoulder.
She couldn’t think about how much it hurt to be so close to having his love, only to lose it. She should think of Lord Thornbeck and how humiliated he must feel for asking her to marry him in front of everyone.
And what about Magdalen?
“You must hate me for deceiving you.”
“It sounds as if you had little choice. I do not hate you, Doro—Avelina. Do not be so hard on yourself.”
“But I am only a servant. You must be so angry—”
“I am surprised, but I am not angry. You have a noble heart. You always did seem too kind and openhearted to be the daughter of an earl.”
Avelina might have laughed if she had not been so miserable. “I know I have no right to ask for your friendship anymore, Magda—” She stopped and corrected herself again. “Lady Magdalen.”
“Nonsense! You shall always have my friendship.” Magdalen squeezed her shoulder.
“I felt so guilty for deceiving you, I am glad I can tell you now. Even though . . . everything is ruined. But perhaps something good will come of this. Now that he knows I am not Lady Dorothea, perhaps he will want to marry you.”
Magdalen smiled and shook her head. “I never wished to marry Lord Thornbeck. And when I saw the way he looked at you, I knew, even if you didn’t, that he was falling in love with you. Besides, I am still hoping I may end up betrothed to the Duke of Wolfberg.”
“Oh! Yes, of course. When the two of you were dancing and talking at the ball . . . I should have known.” But she had been too busy trying to make sure Lord Thornbeck noticed Magdalen.
“It is too cruel Lord Thornbeck can’t marry you.”
“Even if he wanted to, it would not please the king. The king wants him to marry someone who will help him form an alliance, who will keep the kingdom stable. Marrying me would not please anyone. And he does not want to marry me now. He made that very clear.”
Avelina rubbed the back of her neck, which had begun to ache. “I was going to tell you the truth tonight. I would not have parted from you without telling you.”
Magdalen gave her a gentle smile. “I believe you. I am only sorry . . .” She shook her head and sighed. “Sorry things did not work out for you and Lord Thornbeck.”
Avelina shrugged. “It was never to be. I never expected to marry the margrave.”
Magdalen gave her a sad frown.
Seeing the compassion on Magdalen’s face, Avelina’s composure started to unravel. She bit the inside of her lip to try to gain control. “I will let you go to bed since it is very late. Thank you for letting me explain and apologize.”