“Several reasons,” Hope said. “She deeply cares about you and wanted to be sure you were doing okay.”
As much as he wanted to believe his mother cared about him, Cade found it hard. Especially after the way she’d deserted him six years earlier. “Why didn’t she talk to me?”
“She tried but was afraid after you turned your back on her in the courtroom that you’d do it again.”
It was difficult to wrap his head around what Hope was telling him. He ran his fingers through his hair as he paced her compact living room. Hard as it was to imagine, there might actually be a path that would restore his relationship with his parents.
His mother, he corrected himself. Cade was convinced his father knew nothing of his mother’s attempts to reconnect. Without question, John Senior would never have allowed it.
“I jumped to conclusions when I saw the two of you together,” he was willing to admit. He had no excuse other than what experience had taught him. “I’m sorry, Hope. Can we get past this and start again?” He held his breath, awaiting her answer. “Please,” he added, recognizing how much she meant to him, and how badly he needed her.
“You refused to listen. You blocked me and immediately sought out another woman.”
“It isn’t like it sounds, I swear. Yes, I blocked you, and yes, I was stupid enough not to give you a chance to explain. But I swear by all I hold holy that there was no one else. That woman was all over me. I had to be rude to get rid of her. She meant nothing to me. The only woman I want is you, Hope.”
“I wanted to believe that; I really did. When I told you about Hunter, you said I wasn’t alone any longer, that you weren’t going anywhere. Remember that? Your words were empty, Cade. The instant you had a single doubt you walked away and didn’t look back.”
“I was a fool. Have I lost you?” His heart was in his throat, waiting for her answer.
“Can I trust you, Cade?”
With everything in him, he wanted to give her the reassurance she needed. He couldn’t lie, couldn’t lead her on. It would be far too easy to tell her what she wanted to hear, and then disappoint and hurt her again. He refused to do that.
“I don’t know, Hope. I’d like to say I’m all in with this relationship. It’s the way I feel and what I want more than anything. The biggest problem is me. I’m a work in progress. The future is unknown. I can say this. I will do everything within my power to be as forthright and honest with you as I can.”
Hope listened and appeared to understand.
“Is that enough?”
Her sigh seemed to empty her chest and she nodded. “I have my own issues to work out. When I talked to Willa, which I’ve done several times now, she’s helped me understand a lot of things about myself. I thought, wrongly, as it turned out, that because I had you in my life I wasn’t alone any longer. She had Sean and the rest of her family. I had no one else until I met you, and…” She hesitated and looked away before looking back. “The truth is, I had to deal with the fact I am alone with no family. That was painful for me when I realized I couldn’t count on you.”
Her words cut him. She seemed to realize it because she quickly added, “To have put you in that position was wrong. I had to search deep within myself, to find the peace that I would be all right. I think we might be able to help each other, Cade. In answer to your question, being truthful with each other is enough. The trust will come in time.”
“Thank you,” he whispered, and because he couldn’t bear not to hold her for another moment, he reached for her.
Weaving his fingers into her hair, he leaned forward and kissed her with relief and need, unable to get enough of her taste, of the lemon scent that was her. He breathed it in like it was life itself.
They continued to hold each other for several minutes before sitting down on the sofa, side by side. Needing to maintain contact, Cade kept his arm around her shoulders. It was sheer joy when Hope leaned against his strength. Shadow settled down on the floor in front of them, his chin resting on Hope’s foot.
“Does anyone know what caused the car fire?” he asked. He hadn’t been able to stay long enough to hear what had led up to the car fire.
“Not yet, although I have my suspicions. Callie was upset earlier in the day. She’d had some differences with Spencer and just needed someone to talk to about what was happening in her life. While we spoke, she said she’d been stressed over her brother and felt certain he was on drugs. She also seemed to believe she knew who was responsible for selling Ben the drugs. I immediately went to Dean Wilcox, and he sent for the coach. Coach had a lot of questions for me. I answered him as best I could. Callie had already left the school. She’s the one Coach and the dean really needed to talk to about all this.”