“I’m filling in,” Antonia informed him, fetching the old man some fresh water and placing the biscuits on his bedside table.
“These aren’t Jet’s biscuits,” the Reverend said. “Hers are homemade.”
“Yes, well, I can’t bake. I can’t cook at all. I’m a disaster at it. These will have to do.”
“You can’t cook because you don’t care,” the Reverend said. “It makes all the difference, you know. Jet cared.”
“Of course, I care,” Antonia hotly replied. “I’m just busy. Actually, I’m overwhelmed.”
The Reverend nodded knowingly. “You’re nervous about being a parent.”
“I didn’t say that!” The old man seemed to think he knew everything when he didn’t know the first thing about her.
“It will all change.” The Reverend gestured to her extended belly. “You’ll feel differently once he arrives.”
“She,” Antonia corrected him. “And cooking doesn’t make you a good parent.” She tried one of the store-bought biscuits and found that the Reverend was right; it was wretched. After the first bite she pitched it into the trash. “Anyway, how do you know if you’ll be any good at it or not?” She’d had pangs of worry about this very issue. She had the impression that she had closed off her heart long ago; from the time she and Kylie were children their mother warned them that love was trouble and trouble was love. Since then there had always been a fierce distance between Antonia and other people, excluding her old, beloved friends and her family. Why shouldn’t there be? She’d been avoiding matters of the heart at all costs.
“You don’t know,” the Reverend went on to explain. “That’s the point. You’ll love your child more deeply than you can imagine. It will happen to you and your husband.”
“Lesbian,” Antonia informed him.
“Wife?” the Reverend guessed. “Girlfriend?”
“This is not an interview. It’s a social call,” Antonia said briskly. Still, as long as she was there she took his pulse, which she found to be elevated.
“Well, who do you love?” he asked. “Who will love you in return?”
“You’re very personal, aren’t you?” Antonia said. “I’m fine on my own.”
“You’re afraid of the curse.” The old man sympathized. “I don’t blame you. It killed my boy Levi.”
“There is no curse,” Antonia apprised the Reverend. “Bad things happen for no reason.”
Reverend Willard lowered his voice. “You don’t know the half of it. Bring me something chocolate next time and I’ll tell you all about it.”
“You can’t have chocolate.” She would stop by the nurses’ desk and recommend an EKG to the nurse who was open to suggestions. Just to be safe. Courage was fine and good, but when it came to medicine, caution was often more useful.
“I can have it if you bring it,” the Reverend said. “Who’s to know?”
Antonia had begun to find the old man a source of amusement. And something more. She took his hand in parting. He still had a strong grip. “Maybe. As long as you don’t turn me in to the nurses.”
“Don’t forget the cake,” he called after her as she left. He was certainly stubborn, and Antonia admired that. He wanted what he wanted at this point in his life, that much was clear. “The one your aunts make,” Antonia heard as she let the door close behind her, suddenly craving chocolate herself.
* * *
When Antonia stopped to check on the house on Magnolia Street, she found the Merrill brothers at work in the garden, which was already wildly overgrown with plumy weeds and a dense tangle of thorny vines that could leave a gash if the person weeding wasn’t careful. The brothers softly cursed the thorns as they piled up bundles of branches that would later be tossed on a bonfire, but when they caught sight of Antonia their dispositions changed. She was a beauty and her youth cheered them and made them feel young again. “All’s well,” they shouted optimistically, though it was clearly not the case. Why, just look at the shingles on the porch, ragged and ready to blow away in the next storm. Examine the height of the overgrown phlox. The place was a vision of neglect, as if Franny and Jet’s presence had held the house together. All the same, Antonia appreciated the jolly sentiments. She waved and called out a hello, then found the hidden house key behind the twisted wisteria.