She laughed. “Well, her heartbeat sounds good, and it’s a good sign that she’s kicking at this age. Some people can’t feel the baby for a few more weeks.”
I kept my hand on Amelia’s belly and looked up at her. I’d been afraid to even consider that the baby could be mine before now, before the other possibility confirmed they’d been careful. Amelia and I weren’t, though she’d been on the pill since we met. But something happened in that moment—feeling the baby move for the first time. She went from being Amelia’s baby to our baby. I was so fucking mad at Amelia, but it wasn’t fair to take it out on this little one.
I’d been so lost in thought that I almost forgot the nurse was there until she spoke. “I’ll come back and check on her in a few hours.”
“Okay.”
After she left, I laid my cheek on Amelia’s stomach, right over where I’d felt the movement, and shut my eyes.
I’m having a baby.
A little girl.
For the first time, I let the gravity of that sink in. Something bloomed in my heart, but the weight of everything else felt like it was crushing my chest.
What if Amelia doesn’t wake up?
What if my little girl has to grow up without a mother?
What if I lose them both?
My throat constricted. I tried to swallow the taste of salt, but I was no match for the wave that was coming. For four days, I hadn’t shed a single tear. Anger and sadness had blocked them. But suddenly, my body wanted to make up for lost time. Tears began to flow, streaming down my face and falling from my cheeks onto Amelia’s belly. My shoulders shook, sobs wracking over me as I let out a harrowing sound.
I have no idea how long I cried, but it felt like hours. At one point, the nurse even came back to check on me. When my tears finally dried, I turned my head and kissed Amelia’s belly.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been so mad at your mother that I haven’t even acknowledged you. Forgive me. It won’t happen again. From now on, I promise to be there and take care of you every step of the way, my precious little girl.”
CHAPTER 29
Evie
“That’s the last of it.” I collapsed onto my new couch on Sunday afternoon after crushing the last box we’d unpacked. It had taken two days for Greer and me to find a home for everything that had been delivered from my storage unit to my new apartment, which was a fraction of the size of the place I’d moved from.
“You know, there’s a great singles’ bar down the block. I went a few times before I met Ben,” my sister said.
I guzzled the last of a bottle of water. “I have zero interest in dating for a very long time.”
Greer frowned. I’d told her what had gone down between Merrick and me last week. “I know, but that’s usually when you meet someone. I met Ben less than a week after Michael and I broke up, remember?”
Christian and I had been together for years and been engaged, yet I didn’t think it would be nearly as easy to get over Merrick as it had been with him. It made me realize that time together didn’t matter. Some people just work their way deeper into your heart.
I shook my head. “It would be easier to move on if I understood what happened.”
“It sounds to me like he saw that little girl, and it reminded him of what he didn’t want—commitment and a relationship.”
Of course, that was entirely possible, but I didn’t think so. “I don’t know. But I think I’m going to start looking for another job.”
“What? You love your new job.”
“I do. But I reopen a wound every time I see him down the hall or pass by his office. And half of my sessions involve talking about him.” I sighed. “I’m in love with him, Greer.”