The look of pain on his face sliced right through me. I reached up and wiped his tears. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say it.”
He took a minute to pull himself together before continuing. “When they told me about Eloise, I left the hospital, went to the closest bar, and got piss drunk. I came back and found Amelia’s bed empty.”
My eyes widened. “Oh, God. She…”
Merrick nodded. “Alone. Amelia died alone. I lost them both that day.”
I could barely wrap my head around what he’d gone through. After months of agonizing struggle, everything had come crashing down around him.
He took a deep breath. “I went to see Aaron the other day—the other man.”
“You did?”
He nodded. “He actually seems like a pretty nice guy. He offered to let me get to know Eloise.”
“Wow. Did you say yes?”
“I told him I needed to think about it. But I think I’m going to. There’s a big part of me that feels like I lost a daughter. I know I can never get that back. But maybe having Eloise in my life in some capacity is important.”
“I don’t even know what to say, Merrick.”
He shook his head. “There’s nothing you need to say. It’s me who owes you all the words. There’s no excuse for what I did to you, running away when you’d just opened your heart to me. Before you walked into my office that first time, I thought I’d moved on and was back to living. But I hadn’t healed. I’d just shut off that part of my heart. Falling in love with you opened me again. And when we ran into Eloise, everything just came rushing back, so my gut reaction was to shut down again, because that was the way I moved on last time.”
I blinked a few times, stuck on his words. “You love me?”
Merrick cupped my cheeks and looked into my eyes. “I was a goner the day you called me out for being an asshole and walked out of my office. I stupidly tried to fight it because I was a coward, but it was useless.” He pulled my face closer, so our noses were almost touching. “I am so in love with you that it scares the living shit out of me. What I feel is more than a want. I need you, Evie.”
Tears rained down my face again. This time, happy ones. “I love you, too.”
“I’m so sorry I hurt you, Evie. But if you’ll give me the chance, I promise to spend the next, I don’t know—ten years making it up to you.”
I laughed as I wiped my tears. “Only ten?”
He smiled. “We’ll just take it one decade at a time.”
? ? ?
The next morning, I didn’t wake up until a quarter to eleven. Merrick and I had spent half the night reconnecting, and I would have preferred to stay in bed all day today, too. But I had an appointment I was dreading in a few hours—one I hadn’t mentioned to the man with his arms currently wrapped around me from behind. Merrick was still sleeping, so I tried to gently extract myself from his grip without waking him. But as I put my first foot on the floor, a long arm tightened around my waist and hoisted me back to the center of the mattress.
I yelped in surprise. “I was trying not to wake you.”
Merrick took my wrist and dragged my hand down between his legs. “I’m wide awake, sweetheart.”
That he is. I gave him a little squeeze. “You know, I think this thing might be broken. It was wide awake like four times last night.”
“I’m about to show you how broken it is…” He leaned in to kiss me, but I stopped him.
“Okay, but we have to be fast. I have an appointment at noon, and I need to shower still.”