JULY 2, 1978
It’s midnight. I just got back into the bunk and into bed. I’m covered in mosquito bites.
After campfire and once the kids were all in bed, I went over to Patty’s bunk and knocked on the wall and asked her to come out. I told her that Greg said it was okay to use the pool at her house, and that while we were there, her dad came back for lunch with a friend of his. I didn’t tell her about the weird conversation. That didn’t matter. I told her we made out. I said he told me they were okay with seeing other people.
She didn’t seem mad at me, but she was really upset. Really upset. So upset that she threw up from crying. Jesus.
Anyway. That was terrible.
JULY 3, 1978
Patty was so upset she went home for the day, back to town. I feel like shit, but at least I told the truth.
JULY 4, 1978
Happy Independence Day?
Patty Horne was back today, and she and Greg were sitting together at the big campfire, and I turned when we were watching the fireworks and they were making out. So I guess she’s forgiven him?
Eric said, “Don’t worry about it. Her dad probably bought her another horse or something to cheer her up.”
Honestly, it was so weird. She was so upset that she had to leave? And now things are fine?
I was sitting with Eric, and he had his arm around me. Shawn was staring at us.
I need to get out of Barlow Corners. This place is too small.
JULY 5, 1978
My library books came in today. Mrs. Wilde called over to the camp to let me know. I feel embarrassed now that I had books about Nazis sent to our library, but since I ordered them, I rode my bike over to town while the kids were in group free time and Katie was watching them. I was on my way out holding them and I ran into Mr. Horne. He was on his way into the library. I didn’t have them in a bag—I was going to put them in my bike basket. He could see the titles.
He said, “That’s some serious summer reading.”
I said, “It’s for Columbia. They make us do some reading over the summer before we come. Some literature, some history.”
He said wow or something like that, and he was being really normal, but my heart was going fast. And there was . . . I don’t know? Something in his expression?
I don’t know why I did this. I said, “Did you have to do that for Harvard too?”
He said he couldn’t remember. Maybe. It was too long ago.
Then he said, “How did you know I went to Harvard?”
I said, “Patty told me.”
The trouble was, I hesitated because it took me a second to think of it, because my brain froze. He looked at me for a long second and smiled. Then he said goodbye and good to see you, have fun at camp, and went on doing what he was doing.
This whole thing is making me so paranoid, and the books weren’t going to help with that. So I went back to the library and told Mrs. Wilde that they weren’t what I needed after all and returned them. I rode back to camp really fast.
Mr. Horne is not a Nazi.
I should try to relax a bit, take a week or so and try to really enjoy myself. Really enjoy myself. I’ve done all this hard work. Why can’t I have fun like everyone else?
I’m going out to the woods with them tomorrow to hang out. I know what that means. He picks up the grass out there. But they also have fun.
I’m doing it. I need to break some rules for once, or I feel like I’m going to pop. This is my summer to live.
Do you hear me, Sabrina Abbott? This is your summer to LIVE!