She found her phone, located Phil Schumacher’s phone number, and called him again. It rang several times before it disconnected without going to voice mail. So she called again. Halfway through the first ring, a recording played. “The person you are trying to reach is unavailable.”
What did that mean?
She tried again. And again, halfway through the first ring, the message came on, “The person you are trying to reach is unavailable.”
He must have blocked her number. He might be her dad, and he’d blocked her. It made her stomach drop and her pride hurt, but she told herself that was fine.
She didn’t need him.
She didn’t need anyone.
Maybe she was still drunk off minibar drinks, and maybe she was being overly emotional, but as she stood in that cheap motel room alone, truly alone, she swore she was going to do things by herself from here on out. She wasn’t good enough for Kh?i or this mysterious Phil Schumacher, but she was good enough for herself.
She didn’t need a man for anything. She only needed her own two hands. As she washed her hair and scrubbed the sand from the wedding off her feet in the plastic shower, a fire raged in her heart. She didn’t know how, but she was going to prove her worth. She’d show everyone.
She spent the day setting up a new independent life. She took a bus to Milpitas and searched the area by C? Nga’s restaurant for apartments, found a place that offered month-long leases and signed the contract, and went shopping for apartment supplies and new clothes. She’d rather walk around naked than ask Kh?i for her things. He could have them.
That night as she slept in a sleeping bag on the floor of her empty studio apartment, she dreamed Jade’s father took her away, and she cried herself awake and huddled against the wall, listening to the creaking of the building and the cars passing by outside. As it always did, her fear gradually changed into guilt. If she’d given Jade to her father and his wife, right now Jade would have a complete family with a mom and a dad, not to mention an expensive house and servants. Because she hadn’t given Jade up, her girl was stuck in a one-room shack while her mom carried on a separate life across the ocean. Would a better mother have given her baby away? Was it selfish to keep Jade? Was love enough?
Fierceness overtook her. Love would have to be enough. It was truly all she had.
When the sky lightened, she gave up on sleep and researched work visas on her phone. There had to be opportunities for someone like her in a place like this. She was very good at withstanding difficulty. But she read website after website, and they all said the same thing: She needed to have a college degree, twelve years of specialized work experience, or some impressive mixture of the two. She had work experience, but something told her toilet cleaning wasn’t the kind of specialization they were talking about.
She was still struggling to accept this information when she walked into C? Nga’s restaurant later that morning.
“Oh, Precious Girl has arrived.” C? Nga ran to her and hugged her tight. “You had me so worried. Why did you leave without telling anyone anything, ha? Everyone was worried to death about you.”
Slightly in shock, Esme hugged C? Nga back. “I’m sorry.” She hadn’t thought anyone would care about her after she turned down Kh?i’s proposal. She stepped away, forced a smile, and held her arms out. “You can see I’m fine.”
“Kh?i looked everywhere for you. He said he called you many times. Why didn’t you answer?” C? Nga asked.
She focused on putting her purse in the regular spot by the cash register and keeping her breathing even. That was the only way to keep herself from falling apart. “I didn’t have anything to say to him.”
C? Nga dismissed Esme’s words with a wave of her hand. “How are you two going to work things out if you don’t talk things over? Tell him what’s wrong, and he’ll fix it. It’s only easy.”