“Who do you even know there by now?” she asked him.
“The boys I went to school with. I still get Christmas cards from some of them. It might be nice to see them, one more time.”
“Are you looking for Javier?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him, and he hesitated.
“Maybe. I always have fantasies that our paths will cross again one day. We were so close as boys. And even when he started to change as a teenager, he was still my brother. He still is.”
“I was always afraid he would take a bad turn and head in the wrong direction. I should have made him come to Paris with us,” she said sadly. It was one of her few regrets. She didn’t have many and had led a good life. She was proud of Joachim. He was a decent, upstanding man, hardworking and honorable, and a good son. She was sorry he hadn’t married and had children of his own, but he always said that marriage and a family were not compatible with a life of service, if you did it right and were truly dedicated to your employers. He had certainly put his heart and soul into his work for the past seventeen years. It had in fact turned into a satisfying career for him, and he was supremely capable. He didn’t seem to be unhappy about being single and without children. Liese worried sometimes that the trauma of losing his brother had made him unable to attach to anyone. He never discussed his personal life with his mother when he came to Paris to see her, which he did as often as he could, sometimes even if he could only come for a day. But with her work, she was busy too.
“Javier would never have come with us, even if you had tried to force him,” Joachim reminded her. “You forget how obstinate he was then. And I think he already had some bad plans by the time we left, which would have shocked us if we’d known about them. He started hanging around the wrong people as a teenager.” It was hard for either of them to imagine who he was now. He had strayed so far from anything familiar or acceptable to them that Joachim suspected they were better off not knowing. As sad as it was, especially for his mother, the silence was perhaps less upsetting than the truth. But he was hoping to hear some echoes about Javier anyway when he went to Buenos Aires. It was hard to let go of the fact that he had a twin brother somewhere in the world.
“What are you going to do when you get there?” Liese asked.
“See friends, enjoy the city. Visit my old favorite places. It’s sort of a pilgrimage. I haven’t had time for a trip like that. Now I do, before I take another job, and get caught up in service again.”
“When are you going to do that?”
“I’m in no hurry.” The marquess had left him some money, as had Francois. Joachim had been careful and invested what he had. He had enough to be comfortable for quite some time without a job. He didn’t want to make a mistake and take the wrong one. He had enjoyed his first job briefly, and his second one had been deeply rewarding. He wanted to take his time and find the right job and employer for the next round, although there were fewer and fewer great houses and grand estates anywhere anymore, even in England. Few people wanted a large formal staff, which was Joachim’s forte to run. His skills were outstanding. He had listed himself with the best agency for butlers in London and had told them he was in no rush. He could have his pick of the best jobs, with his experience. He doubted he would find a new one he liked as much that used all his skills.
Seeing his mother made him think that he should stay in Paris for a while, to spend time with her and make sure she was in good health. She was remarkably energetic for a woman her age, but she lived alone, and at eighty-one, he was concerned that she might fall ill, or injure herself. But she’d had no problems so far. It was nice staying in the apartment with her. He’d been so busy preparing the Cheshire homes to be sold that he hadn’t been to see her in three months and felt guilty about it. He was planning to spend a month with her after he got back from Buenos Aires. He had a flat in London, which he rarely had time to use, but it would give him a comfortable place to stay when he went back to look for a new position. He used it on his days off, sometimes to meet women, but he was always available to the family and staff, if needed. He was feared, and admired, by the employees he managed, and held in great respect by his employers. He was well liked but kept to himself. He saw his life as a butler more as a vocation than a career.