She fell asleep with the lights on, with a pad and pen in her hand, and her thoughts spinning around and around. She felt as though aliens had taken over her mind. But the last thing she wanted to do was go back to her own depressing apartment in New York and start looking for a job, working for someone else, after years of working for herself, and having to explain why her magazine had failed. It still felt too fresh for that. And if she stayed in Paris, what would she do?
She had none of the answers when she woke up the next morning and went for a walk along the Seine after she drank a strong cup of coffee. Her cellphone rang when she was on the way back. It was the real estate agent from Sotheby’s to tell her that one of the people who had seen the apartment the previous afternoon wanted it. The owner was willing to give her priority since she had seen it first, but they wanted to know by noon. She almost cried when she hung up and said she’d call her back in half an hour. She hated to make rush decisions and was tempted to say no. She didn’t have anyone to call for advice. Claire, her former assistant at the magazine, was already in L.A., and it was two-thirty in the morning for her, so she couldn’t call her. And Olivia didn’t want someone else making the decision. It was up to her. She wasn’t usually confused, but this was a big leap for her, totally different from anything she’d ever done before. She was out of her comfort zone, on unfamiliar turf. It was terrifying and exciting too.
She stopped at one of the bridges on the way back and stared down into the swirling water below her.
“What should I do?” she said out loud, and the answer came as though someone had spoken to her.
“Take the apartment,” the voice in her head said.
“Oh my God…are you sure?” She realized she was having a conversation with herself.
“You don’t have to spend a lot on furniture, and you can always send it to New York when you go back. You’re tired of what you have in New York anyway. The apartment here will open the doors to a whole new life. This is what you wanted. Now go for it!” the voice in her head said.
“Beware of what you wish for,” she said out loud, and walked back to her apartment, feeling like a crazy person. She was talking to herself now.
She ran up the stairs and called the agent at Sotheby’s.
“I’ll take it,” she said in one swift breath, feeling as though she was going over a waterfall in a barrel, or falling out a window, but once she said it, she was less scared, and felt more in control again.
“You’re doing the right thing. You won’t regret it. It’s a terrific apartment.” How did she know it was the right thing? She didn’t even know her. And Olivia already regretted it, with classic buyer’s remorse, but she was excited too. And it was only a rental after all. “It will be yours in two weeks. I’ll come over with the lease for you to sign at six o’clock. Does that work for you?”
“Yes,” Olivia said, feeling breathless, wondering what the hell she was doing and if she had lost her mind. But part of her felt happy about it, another part was terrified. She told herself that she could refuse to sign the lease and get out of it until six o’clock. But she didn’t want to, and after she hung up, she called the woman at the domestic agency.
“I’m taking the apartment,” Olivia told her, feeling slightly sick.
“Congratulations. And would you like to meet our butler?” she said, and Olivia laughed. Why not? It was just as crazy as everything else she was doing, renting an apartment in Paris for a year, needing to furnish it and put in a kitchen, and interviewing a formal butler to hire as an assistant. It was the craziest thing she’d ever done, but she didn’t have to hire the butler if she didn’t like him. She had no obligation, and she did need help, and it would only be for a short time. For no particular reason, she assumed he was gay, living with his mother, and running a formal home. She didn’t care either way. Maybe he’d be fun to work with. Although Carson on Downton Abbey wasn’t gay. She remembered then that she had to give the woman an answer if she wanted to meet him.