Heart-shaped wreaths of fresh red and white roses hung on her and Sam’s doors. The inside staircase was laden with small red satin hearts tied to each baluster, a large white satin heart attached to the newel. The small hall table held a bouquet of preserved red roses with a giant silver ribbon around the vase, the diffuser making the hall smell like the queen’s rose garden.
Valentine’s Day. Of course. There wasn’t a holiday the aunties didn’t celebrate. She stepped outside to see what they’d done with the exterior of the building. Shivering in only her sweater, jeans, and socks, she made it to the front stoop to take in the large heart-shaped wreaths on the doors and the twinkle lights in red and white around the iron railings before rushing back inside.
Except she didn’t want to go back to the apartment. She didn’t want to be alone. Arms wrapped around herself, Meena paused. Four months ago she’d never thought of wanting company. Her work had afforded her enough interaction with different types of people that she hadn’t minded the time she spent alone. This was a different kind of need, though. She wanted not strangers and small talk but something deeper with someone she knew, who knew her.
On impulse, she knocked on Sam’s door. He was the one she wanted. She heard Wally bark as Sam opened the door. He was rumpled in another one of his long-sleeved T-shirts, this one with an MIT logo, and gray sweats. His eyes looked red behind his glasses. Meena fidgeted.
“Didn’t you hear me say come in?”
Meena shook her head. “Sorry. I was in my own head.”
Sam held the door wide and Meena walked through. Wally bounced out of his crate and ran toward her. At least the dog wanted to see her. She crouched down to give Wally proper love and gave in to the need to press her face into his fur. The loneliness of the week caught up with her, and she stayed there until Wally squirmed to escape her hold. She stood, uncertain, as the pup went back to his crate and gnawed on a toy.
“Do you want to grab lunch?” Meena asked.
Sam rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m on deadline and have a lot of work.”
His eyes were distant, focused on something other than her. She should go. She was bothering him.
“I’ll go. I don’t want to interrupt you.”
He took her by the hand. “I’m sorry. You need to talk and I’m here.”
She shook her head. “I was the one that told you I needed to be alone, and you respected that. I can’t come in here and expect you to drop everything now that I can no longer stand to be in my own skin.”
“Friends do that for each other,” Sam said. “Tell me.”
She paced in front of him. “There’s nothing to tell. I’m still angry at Neha, at the aunties, at everything. I want to confront them and blow it all out in the open.”
“Then do that,” Sam said. “Don’t plot or plan. Just go with the straightforward truth.”
“You don’t get it.” Meena winced at the high pitch in her voice. “I need to know if whichever auntie it is knows. And if she knows I know.”
“I’m lost.”
“If I hand them all of it on a platter, they could lie. Pretend they didn’t know, even if they did.”
Sam sighed and sat down. “So what do you want to do?”
Meena tapped her chin. “Drop hints. Different ones to each auntie. See what sort of reactions I get.”
“Are you sure you want to take the long way around?”
She crossed her arms in front of her. “I’m not sure of anything. For once, I want someone to recognize me. Tell me the truth. All of it.”
He nodded and stood. “I’ll help with whatever you need.”