You coming, Molly? Chris asks and you bet I am, I have few chances to be around Chris Salazar now that I don’t live next door to him like I did Before. As we leave the Pool Area Chris passes close to his Mom Stephanie’s recliner and he brushes his hand over hers, they don’t even look at each other but it’s a nice moment of connection as opposed to Colin who doesn’t even glance at his Mom although I notice Kathy watching him and after he passes by she flops over on her stomach with a sigh. Colin is skinny with shaggy hair and his eyes are always moving like he’s on the lookout for something that is about to happen any second. He’s walking backwards in front of us making magician hands like he’s hypnotizing us to follow him, and we walk along the bottom of the Grassy Hill that slopes down from the Dining Terrace and when I look up my HEART STOPS BEATING because STELLA AND IONA ARE WALKING TOWARD US FROM THE CLAY COURTS. Yvette is with them in tennis whites being another disciple of Stella’s who comes in handy when I am being excluded or punished. Stella calls out Molly, where did you go? We waited for you! and Iona makes agreeing chirps and I realize that Stella is trying to reel me back in with this lie because whereas me wandering alone or me hanging out with a Non-Member who is younger and has strange Facts in her life would be pitiful and shunnable, me and that same girl PLUS two Rising Freshman Boys, both of whom are cool, is another story. I have bested Stella through sheer good luck and Lulu’s kindness, but I know that I can’t push my advantage too far without risking Permanent Exile. The only safe thing to do now is say to Lulu and Chris and Colin, Sorry—see you guys, and break off to reclaim my rightful place as Stella’s Number One, at which point we’ll ditch Iona and Yvette and have a sweet time, the magic of Stella being most intense when we’re first reunited and there is a sparkling surprise even to normal things like Shuffleboard or the Bocce Ball Courts or the Tire Swing. Ditching my new group is the only right move in my Stella drama but I can’t bring myself to do it, it is a split-second decision—NO—so I just smile at Stella and we keep walking and it feels dangerous to do this, I know I will pay later on but now it’s done.
I’ve been coming to the CCC my whole life, I’ve had birthday parties here, skating lessons on the Rink in winter, I’ve played Tennis and Paddle Tennis and had swimming lessons and diving lessons and attended Day Camp, I’ve been to Mother-Daughter Teas and Father-Daughter Dances and three weddings and one after-funeral lunch and one Sweet Sixteen （my sister Hannah’s）， I’ve played Hide and Seek and Capture the Flag and Marco Polo and gone on Treasure Hunts and Easter Egg Hunts and Christmas Carol Sings and Barbeques and Fourth of July fireworks. The Club has barely changed since I was born, there is no Before and After here, in summer there is always the faint thop thop of tennis balls and kids’ voices tangled with pool splashes and it is a beautiful place, our Country Club, when I’m not fighting for my life. But in all that time I have never been to Colin’s Favorite place, which is right alongside the Club’s brown painted Perimeter Wall near the Generators which are huge heavy metal boxes that rumble and hum and keep the whole place going I guess but in the blazing August heat they are awful.
Colin pulls out a packet of Merit Cigarettes and offers them around and Lulu and I shake our heads and Chris is like Bro, these girls don’t smoke and Colin is like There’s always a first time and he lights a cigarette for himself and takes a big puff and Lulu is like I will never smoke a cigarette or get a tattoo and Colin is like I already have a tattoo I made it myself and he lifts one leg of his bathing trunks and the word HA is inked on his upper thigh in crude smudgy blue capital letters and I’m like Does your mom know? and Colin is like She doesn’t care what I do since I quit tennis, I got sick of wearing white and Lulu is like You don’t have to wear white on public courts and Colin’s like Word, Lulu, we’re in a bubble here this ain’t real life and Chris is like That’s what a Country Club IS, bro, it’s a bubble that’s why people want to join them and Lulu’s like I’ll never join a Country Club, I’ll be too busy being in Doctors Without Borders and Chris is like Are Borderless Doctors invisible? Do they blend into their surroundings like ghosts? which makes all of us laugh and Colin is like Serious question: Will you marry me, Lulu? and Lulu looks like she has a raging sunburn and I realize that LULU AND COLIN LIKE EACH OTHER even though Lulu is a non-smoking non-tattooing long-distance swimmer and Colin is a smoking self-tattooing shoplifter/belly flopper, and Lulu is like No, you have an unhealthy Lifestyle and Colin is like Can Yelatin marry Gwenisphere at least? and I’m like Huh? and Chris is like Those are their D and D characters, Yelatin and Gwenisphere and Colin stubs out his cigarette on the Perimeter Fence and his eyes are moving around and he’s like You girls have your bikes, right? Let’s take a ride and then he leads the way back through the club to the Bike Lot and as we’re walking I ask Lulu if she likes Dungeons & Dragons which I’ve never played, and Lulu says yes it’s like going inside a different World and her character Gwenisphere is a Spy who can blend into any Situation and find out people’s Secrets.