I jump from my chair. What the hell?
Is that how he saw it? What will I write?
I begin to pace back and forth, wave my hands around as I try to think.
Umm . . .
Maybe she liked you too much.
Perhaps she was scared of getting hurt?
No, I’m sure that’s not it. I’m not wasting my time on someone who walks away over something so trivial. She wouldn’t even have a conversation about it.
It obviously meant very little to her, I don’t have time for stupid drama.
I’m done.
My heart drops and I slump back in my chair . . . Fuck it.
Damn it . . . you idiot, Kate.
He’s right, why wouldn’t I at least talk to him?
Fuck’s sake . . .
What the hell do I write now? Damn it, I hate how I can’t tell him who I am.
This is one colossal fuckup that has to stop.
I write:
That’s a shame, what have you got planned for the weekend?
Busy weekend planned. Moving into my new house tomorrow and then going to an art auction tomorrow night. I guess, unpacking all weekend.
What about you?
I puff air into my cheeks. I want to write . . . pining over you all weekend, but I refrain.
Nothing much, quiet one here.
Okay, I’m turning into bed, great to finally be in touch.
I missed you.
Goodnight.
Ed
Ox
I read through our messages again.
I was too attached to her.
I flop onto my bed.
He was too attached to me . . . Did I read that right?
I get up and read it again and again. No, I didn’t dream it.
It’s written right there in black and white.
He was scared . . . and maybe I was too?
A goofy smile crosses my face.
There is hope for us yet.
ELLIOT
I smile as I drive up the tree-lined country road. It’s green and tranquil with rolling hills. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
Christopher nods. “It is.” He frowns as he looks around. “What the hell are you going to do out here?”
I shrug happily. “Raise my kids—you know I don’t want my kids to grow up in a city.”
“You don’t even have a girlfriend,” he mutters dryly.
“She’s close.” I smile. “I can feel her near.”
Christopher drags his hand down his face in disgust. “You know, she’s not a ship in the night who’s nearby. You simply decide that you’re ready to settle down and pick someone to do it with.”
I screw up my face. “That’s not how it works.”
“It is.”
“Well, not for me.” I drive in silence for a few moments. “You don’t just pick someone and hope for the best. You follow the signs.”
Christopher rolls his eyes. “Oh please, you and your stupid signs. What do you think is going to happen? You’re going to meet a girl and a neon sign is going to appear over her head saying this is her, I’m the one.”