“Home time.” He smiles as we sway to the music, then he looks across the room. “Kate . . . what is going on with you and your boss?”
“Nothing, why?”
“He hasn’t taken his eyes off you all night.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I scoff, but I do have to admit, every time I look Elliot’s way, he’s already looking at me. “He is not.”
“I’m telling you, darling, I can read men’s minds.”
I giggle. “And what is his mind saying?”
“It’s saying that he’s going to bend you over his desk and fuck you hard.”
I giggle again. “I don’t think so.”
“It’s so unusual.”
“What is?”
“Do you know the kind of women he usually dates?”
“No, and I don’t care.”
“Darling, you really need to keep up to date on current events. Don’t you read the tabloids?”
“No, and I’m appalled that you do.”
“He dated an acclaimed opera singer, an author, a humanitarian lawyer. He never dates run-of-the-mill women, and he wants you.”
“Should I be flattered to be the run-of-the-mill woman, then?”
“You know what I mean.” He gives me a cheeky wink.
I burst out laughing and he spins me around. I lock eyes with Elliot Miles and he gives me the best come-fuck-me look I have ever seen.
Our eyes lock and for a moment, time stops.
My stomach flutters and I snap my eyes away.
What the fuck was that?
It’s late Tuesday night. I make a cup of tea and sit it on my bedside table, begin to flick through my phone, and click on the dating app.
You’ve got mail.
What?
I open the chat box and read the message.
Dear Miss Leroo,
You do sound very tempting indeed. Nevertheless, I have an allergy to cats and with twelve of your own, dating you is an impossibility.
My best advice is to go outside and look to the ground, there you will find your one true love, although as we both know, dating a shadow would have its own obstacles.
I’m sure you are attempting （very poorly, I may add） to be witty.
Life must be pretty boring at your end.
Good luck in your dating ventures, Miss Leroo. With pick-up lines such as yours, you’re going to need it.
Keep chasing that sun.
Edgar Moffatt.
I click on his profile.
Name
Edgar Moffatt
Height
4ft2
Weight
Snack size
Appearance
Very handsome
Hobbies
Playing with my small dick
Favorite pastime
Watching porn
Profession
Garbologist / dick fondler
Hair color
Bald as a badger