Rebecca winces. “Ewww.”
“Well . . . it’s true,” I spit. “He only wants to have sex with me.”
“And . . . the problem is?” says Daniel.
“I’m not into casual sex.” I straighten my back to sound more convincing.
“Oh yes you are,” Rebecca chimes in. “What about Heath, you two fucked like rabbits for months without a care in the world.”
“That was Heath, he doesn’t count.”
“Why not?”
“Because he had just got out of a relationship, we were rebound fucking.” I sip my wine. “That’s different.”
Daniel screws his face up in disgust. “You would actually rather have blah rebound sex with Heath, than hot and steamy with sex god Elliot Miles?”
“He’s my boss,” I scoff.
“All the better. Ask for a raise while you’re giving him head. Get a two-for-one bonus.”
We all giggle.
Rebecca’s eyes flick up from my phone as she reads. “Did you really look at his dick?”
“No,” I scoff again. “He’s dreaming. I’ve got better things to do at work than look at his stupid trouser snake.”
Daniel and Rebecca burst out laughing.
“Where do you come up with these analogies, Kate?”
“Growing up with my brother, Brad.” I shrug. “I know every name there is for a dick. Lizard, schlong, rhythm stick,” I mutter dryly as I sip my wine. “You name it, I’ve heard it.”
“Hit me with your rhythm stick,” Daniel sings. “Isn’t that a great song; they need to bring that shit back. Why isn’t someone remixing this? I swear I should be a record producer.”
“Do they even have record producers anymore?” says Beck. “I mean there are no records, so what’s that job called now?”
“Good question,” I agree.
“Here you are.” The waitress smiles as she arrives with our meals and places them down in front of us.
“Thank you.”
She makes her way to the back room and we all begin to eat.
“Oh, and on Saturday night we’re going out.” Daniel cuts into his steak.
“Where to?” Rebecca asks.
“Club 55 are having an opening at their new venue. I’ve got four VIP tickets.”
“Four tickets? Can I bring Brett?” Beck asks.
“Yeah, sure, why not,” Daniel says as he chews his food. “Don’t forget we’re going work-clothes shopping tomorrow, Kate.”
“We just got new stuff on the weekend?” I say.
“Yes, but now the ante has been raised, your hot boss wants to fuck you. We need to make his balls so blue that they fall off . . . until he’s begging.”
“He’s not going to beg.”
“Oh yes, he is.”
I roll my eyes as I bite the food from my fork. “Great. The way you’re spending my money I really do need to earn a bonus.”
“Do it on your knees,” Daniel says with a raise of his glass. “Earn that dirty money, girlfriend. Tell him you’ll swallow for a company car.”
“Stop.” I laugh. “Will you shut up?”
“Just saying.” He shrugs.