He squeezes her hand as he repeats the words Dev said to him that magical night they had together. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Daphne. I think you’re perfect just the way millions of years of evolution and natural selection made you.”
That gets her to laugh, at least. Charlie thinks about Dev and about deserving love. “Maybe you’re simply chasing the wrong kind of love.”
Daphne looks up at him. “What other kind of love is there?”
Dev
“I think we should order a whole bottle, right?”
Ryan slides onto the barstool and casually lifts a hand to get the server’s attention. That’s how Ryan always moves. Casually. Confidently. The opposite of Charlie in every way.
It’s best not to think about Charlie or the way he moves at the moment.
Ryan orders a bottle of Shiraz, and Dev pours himself a full glass.
“Cheers,” Ryan attempts, but Dev is already swallowing it down. “I’ve got to give it to you, D. He’s a great prince. He’s kind to the women, he’s agreeable with the producers, he’s fine as fuck. You’ve really been able to connect with him.”
“Yeah, except for the hiccup the other night with Megan and Delilah.”
Ryan smiles over his glass. “Honestly, that kind of made me like him more. I get what you see in him.”
Dev doesn’t say anything.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said a lot. Back in LA.” Ryan clears his throat awkwardly. “I never should’ve said that stuff about him. Called Charlie crazy. I was being insensitive. I should’ve known how that would make you feel.”
It’s almost an apology, and an almost-apology is more than he ever thought he’d get from Ryan, but he’s not feeling particularly magnanimous at the moment. “You were never the best at handling me when I wasn’t Fun Dev.”
Ryan bristles on his stool. “That’s not fair.”
No, he thinks. What’s not fair is that right now, Charlie Winshaw is having sex with the world’s most flawless woman, and Dev isn’t even allowed to be upset about it, because this is his job. This is what he’s wanted all along for Charlie. He’s not allowed to be angry at Charlie for fulfilling his role as Ever After’s prince, but he can be angry at Ryan for never fulfilling the role of supportive boyfriend. “It feels fair. I seem to recall a lot of weeks when I couldn’t get out of bed where you basically ignored me.”
“Do you really want to do this right now?” Ryan chokes on actual emotion and pours more wine in an obvious attempt to cope. Dev does want to do this right now. He feels like shit, and the petty part of him wants to make Ryan feel like shit, too. “You wouldn’t let me in.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Ryan keeps his voice low. “You can accuse me of only wanting Fun Dev, but the truth is, Fun Dev is all you ever let me see. When things got bad, you would shut me out entirely.”
“That’s not—”
“Dude. Every time I suggested you try therapy again, you bit my head off. Every time I tried to reach out, you retreated further into yourself. It was like you wanted to preserve this idea you thought I had of you. You wouldn’t let me love the real you.”
Dev snorts into his Shiraz. “Says the man who doesn’t believe in love.”
“Just because I don’t want to uphold the capitalist, heteronormative structures of matrimony and procreation does not mean I didn’t love you. Is that what you really think? Of course I loved you. We were together for six years. I know I couldn’t love you the way you wanted to be loved, but in my defense, the kind of love you want doesn’t exist without a team of producers, a ton of editing, and a really good soundtrack.”