And yeah: the show is kind of trash. It asks people to compete for love. It sometimes exploits them at their most vulnerable moments. It heightens everything to absurdity. But isn’t that kind of the point? Isn’t that why people watch reality TV? To escape from reality?
Without Maureen, the show will be a lot more progressive, but it’s still Ever After, and Dev is happy to be watching it play out right here, from the comfort of his couch, with Charlie sitting beside him.
“No, actually.” Dev leans over and kisses Charlie. “I think I’m good.”
Charlie opens his arms, and Dev settles in against his chest.
Mark Davenport smiles directly at them from the television screen. “Over the course of the next ten weeks, Daphne will embark on a Quest to find her fairy-tale princess. Are you ready, America?”
Dev is so ready.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
To go full pretentious gay for a minute here, Oscar Wilde said life is far more likely to imitate art than art is to imitate life. In the case of this book and my writing process, he was absolutely correct. When I started writing this book in 2019, I hadn’t come out as gay yet, and it was only through writing Charlie’s journey toward self-love that I was also able to write my own. In 2019, I also wasn’t in therapy and had been ignoring the gravity of my mental health needs for years by overworking myself. Once I realized Dev’s story could only end with him choosing to get emotionally healthy, did I accept that I needed to make the same choice for myself.
So thank you first and foremost, for reading this book, for embracing these characters, and, by extension, for embracing me. It means so much to me, and I hope you found something here—some joy, some laughter, some love—that you can take with you into your own story.
This story never would have been told without the help of so many people. Thank you to my extraordinary agent, Bibi Lewis, who believed in this book from the beginning and who “got it” from the first early-morning phone call. Thank you for your compassion, your care, and your patience with my neuroses at every stage in this process.
To my editor, Kaitlin Olson, who made this book so much better with every insightful question, every thoughtful suggestion, every un-italicizing. Your understanding of these characters and this story helped me understand it better. You turned this into something I can be proud of, and words cannot fully capture my gratitude.
Thank you to everyone at Atria Books who dedicated time to bringing this story to life. In particular, Polly Watson （copy editor extraordinaire, who made line edits one of my favorite parts in the process）， Jade Hui （for answering my intense emails）， Isabel DaSilva, Megan Rudloff, Jill Putorti, Sherry Wasserman, Libby McGuire, Lindsay Sagnette, Dana Trocker, Suzanne Donahue, and Sarah Horgan and Min Choi for the most perfect cover ever!
Thank you to Hannah Orenstein, for your generous support of other writers, and your commitment to building a supportive community. To all the other writers and early readers who supported this book—I’m so humbled.
Thank you to my family, for supporting me in my writing long before this book came into existence. To my dad, Bill, who gave me his love of writing and taught me how to dream. To my mom, Erin, who is legitimately the single greatest human who has ever lived. To my stepdad, Mark, who built me a desk and bought me a computer that ran on DOS at a garage sale so I could write books in my bedroom at fourteen. To Kim and Brooklyn, who immediately jumped on board. To Grandma O’Reilly, who will never know I accomplished this dream, but whose fingerprints are on it all the same. And to Grandpa Cochrun, who raised us with stories and filled my heart with words.
Biggest family thanks of all to Heather, the best travel partner and sister-friend this triple-water sign could ask for. Thank you for sitting with me through so many cryfests, for trying to reassure me that my anxiety is an unreliable narrator, and for always asking what you could do to help. You’re the second greatest human who has ever lived. None of this would exist without you.