Dev keeps pulling until they’re both seated side by side on the edge of the curb. “So, what just happened?” he asks patiently.
Charlie searches for something logical amidst the spiral to offer Dev as an explanation. “It’s been a while. Since I’ve dated.”
“How long is a while?”
He pretends to think about it—pretends like he doesn’t remember the night he had a similar panic attack in the bathroom of a Mediterranean restaurant with self-punishing clarity. “Two years.”
“Okay… but before that? You’ve dated, right?”
“Not much.” Charlie taps out Morse code against his thighs.
“Why don’t you date?”
“I don’t know.” And that’s usually all it takes. Usually if Charlie stutters and sweats enough, people stop pushing him.
“You don’t know why you don’t date?”
Why won’t Dev stop pushing him?
“I…” He manages to seize a deep breath. “I don’t want to think about this.”
“But you’re on a reality dating show. You can’t spend the next nine weeks not thinking about it.” Dev reaches over for Charlie’s hand, which is still tapping out the pattern on his leg. He moves slowly, so Charlie has time to avoid contact if he wants. Charlie doesn’t avoid contact, and Dev’s warm fingers come over his like a weighted therapy blanket.
“I’m here to help you through this, Charlie, but you’ve got to talk to me.”
Dev squeezes his hand, and it feels different than the way holding Megan’s hand did before. It reminds Charlie of the other night, when they shook hands, and he forgot to let go.
He stands up and tugs his blazer across his chest. “There’s nothing to talk about. I’m not here to find love, remember?”
Dev
“It can’t be done. We can’t salvage this.” Skylar Jones stares at the monitor. “He’s just too awkward.”
Dev watches the footage over Skylar’s shoulder. It’s a relayed video of what’s happening two rooms over, where Charlie is spending his first Courting Date with Megan. Since the Kissing Catastrophe with Angie three nights ago, Charlie has somehow only gotten worse at being Cologne Ad Charles in front of the cameras. At Wednesday’s Quest, he walked directly into a lighting kit when Daphne tried to hold his hand, and yesterday, while the women were competing in a literal quest （with treasure maps and shovels） Charlie sat down in the dirt to put his head between his knees in the middle of moderating a fight between Megan and three other women.
So naturally, Maureen rigged it so Megan could earn the first solo date with Charlie. After three Group Quests, Megan was named the week one champion, and it caused drama all through the castle. Charlie looks violently ill on his date as Megan places a flirtatious hand on his arm over their untouched salmon.
Charlie does not react to her attempt at flirting. Dev is pretty sure Charlie Winshaw doesn’t know what flirting is. Hence the need for an emergency production meeting.
“We can’t edit this into something romantic!”
Dev washes down his fifth Costco oatmeal raisin cookie with a swig of cold brew and tries to reassure Skylar. “Our editing team can splice together footage of anything.”
“But the women aren’t going to want to date a man who freaks out every time they touch him!” she continues. “The contestants are going to pick up on how awkward he is, and then this whole thing is going to fall apart!”
“Oh, please. The guy is a millionaire with an eight-pack and a tight ass. The women will see what they want to see. He’s a blank canvas for their romantic delusions.” This is Ryan’s contribution to the conversation. Ryan seems entirely unperturbed by the working-with-his-ex situation, which is Ryan Parker in a nutshell. Hence Dev’s need for copious amounts of sugar and caffeine.