“I am screwing it up,” Charlie whispers. “Worse than you know.”
“Well, then, we’ll figure it out together. But you can’t close up again, okay?”
Charlie nods.
“You’ve been so far away all week.” Dev has no idea what drives those words out of his mouth, except it’s week three, and he’s so desperate to make this season work, so desperate to help Charlie find love, so desperate for this story to have the right ending. The ending Charlie deserves.
He thinks about Charlie on the kitchen stool, telling Dev he has OCD like that somehow makes him less worthy; Charlie sitting cross-legged on his bed at three in the morning, so terrified of feeling his feelings. Charlie wearing nothing, asking what do I look like? And Charlie right here, right now, in his arms, being so vulnerable, and quite suddenly, it’s Dev who is noticeably feeling his feelings. His feelings are pressed firmly against Charlie’s waist.
Charlie freezes, and Dev freezes, and then Dev unfreezes, trying to disentangle their limbs without giving away how utterly humiliated he is—because he’s twenty-eight, not fourteen—but Charlie doesn’t make it easy, hand still pressed into the small of Dev’s back, and Dev prays that means Charlie hasn’t noticed.
There’s a loud click of metal on metal, a shout on the other side of the bathroom door. The door swings open, and Charlie and Dev spring apart. A hotel employee is holding a key, having unlocked the door from the outside, and behind him: two cameras, Daphne Reynolds, Jules Lu, Skylar Jones, Ryan Parker, and Maureen Scott.
Charlie doesn’t look at Dev as he steps out of the bathroom, and Dev doesn’t look at his bosses, his ex, or Charlie’s girlfriend. He can barely concentrate on anything but the blood pumping in his own ears as Charlie apologizes to Daphne for his behavior. They shift back to the ballroom, to the Crowning Ceremony, where Charlie passes out his ten tiaras, asking each woman if she is interested in becoming his princess. The two women who are sent home both cry, clinging to the front of Charlie’s suit the way Charlie clung to Dev in the bathroom.
Dev tamps down all feelings associated with what happened in the bathroom until filming is over. Until the crew starts deconstructing the set. Until Dev can vanish to the hotel bar, order himself a whisky neat, and forget about this entire night.
Story notes for editors: Season 37, Episode 4
Story producer:
Maureen Scott
Air date:
Monday, October 4, 2021
Executive producer:
Maureen Scott
Scene: Pre–Crowning Ceremony ball, one-on-one confessionals with contestants Location: Shot on location in and around the Peninsula ballroom
Producer [voice off camera]: What do you think about the other women in the castle?
Megan: I literally don’t think about the other women at all.
Producer: What about Daphne? Does she act arrogant at the castle when the cameras aren’t around?
Megan: Daphne isn’t arrogant. She is insecure. That’s why she felt the need to pull Charles away in the middle of the ball.
Producer: What do the other women think about Daphne?
Megan: The other women all buy into her whole wide-eyed, innocent Disney princess routine. I’m the only one who sees through her bullshit fakeness.
Producer [voice off camera]: What do you think of Megan?
Delilah: Oh, she’s straight-up crazy. Fun, but definitely not wife material. And it’s insane to think Charles would choose someone like her. He needs someone who is more on his level, intellectually. Like me.
Producer [voice off camera]: What do you think about Megan?
Angie: Is this about what happened in the dressing room? With Daphne? I’m not going to apologize for what I said to her, and I’m not going to discuss it in front of the cameras.