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The Charm Offensive(94)

Author:Alison Cochrun

When Dev finally releases his mouth, Charlie sighs. “You make me so fucking happy.”

* * *

Three months ago, when he and Parisa agreed to do the show, the idea of getting fake-engaged to someone at the end of the process, as awkward as it sounded, didn’t really matter. He knew he would have to appear on daytime talk shows with some woman who was only in it for the fame. They’d have to be photographed together, seen in public together on dates. He knew there would be a mandatory six-month engagement after the show ended, before they were allowed to end things amicably, but the uncomfortable inconvenience of it seemed like a fair trade for getting his old life back. It wasn’t like he ever thought a real relationship was in his future.

Except now—now he falls asleep each night with Dev’s arm around his waist and wakes up every morning to the sight of Dev’s pillow drool, and suddenly, there are only twenty-four days left, and Charlie is having a hard time imagining how this all ends.

He tries to pay attention to the women on the Group Quests, but the show doesn’t make it easy. Despite the fact that he’s down to his top six, the women are still forced to compete in ridiculous challenges for his time and attention. Charlie cannot fathom how anyone actually falls in love on this show; he’s spent maybe five hours with each woman individually.

Thursday, the show films at Kirstenbosch botanical gardens, where the women learn pseudo-botany and make love potions he’s actually forced to drink. When Mark Davenport traipses out for his weekly fifteen minutes of work to announce Daphne as the Group Quest victor for the week, everything erupts into the same old drama. Megan locks herself in a bathroom, Delilah calls Daphne a con artist, and Angie jumps to her defense. Charlie is exhausted with all of it.

When they get back to the suite, Dev gets word that Megan is coming to speak to Charlie. The suite is quickly prepped for filming, and when Megan shows up an hour later, it’s clear her handler has goaded her into this late-night visit. She’s wearing next to nothing, and she immediately throws herself at him. It’s week six, and Dev finally got approval from Maureen back in LA to send Megan home at the Crowning Ceremony. This is clearly Maureen’s way of making sure Megan goes home as dramatically as possible. The other five women, back in their suite, are probably talking about Megan’s desperate plan to seduce him for the cameras. Charlie has been doing this long enough to see the strings, which Maureen can somehow pull from ten thousand miles away.

“I just really needed to see you,” Megan purrs into his throat. He diplomatically leads her to the couch. She clearly is here to try to seduce him. As soon as they sit down, her mouth finds his, her hands rove his body. He counts his Mississippis until it’s an appropriate time to stop her.

She looks devastated by his sudden distance. Charlie studies the tight lines around her mouth, the purple bags peeking out beneath her eye makeup. He’s been so distracted by Dev the past few weeks, he hasn’t really paid attention to the women at all. Looking at Megan, he can see she’s not in a healthy place. She’s lost weight, and in her glassy-eyed expression, he can see his own struggles with anxiety mirrored back to him. She’s been poked and prodded into fitting the villain narrative they wrote for her, and now she’s about to snap from the stress.

“Megan,” he begins.

“I love you,” she blurts before he can say anything else. He briefly registers that this is the first time anyone has said these words to him. He wishes it weren’t coming from a woman who just wants to win.

“Megan,” he tries again, but this time he’s interrupted by another knock on the door. It’s Delilah, also heavily made up, with her handler in tow. “Charles, I’m sorry,” she announces as she swans into the room, “but I had to come tell you that Megan is crazy.”

Charlie flinches at the use of the c-word.

“She told me she was going to have sex with you tonight so you couldn’t send her home.”

Megan leaps off the couch. “Delilah is just slut-shaming me because she’s an uptight virgin!”

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