I glance to my right, trying to catch a glimpse of him to see what his take on all of this is, but his face is impassive. He’s waiting for me to decide first, but surely he wants to do it. I mean, this sort of thing would be amazing for his image, and pretending to date me for a few weeks would be no big deal for him because he doesn’t have feelings for me. Also, it’s a ton of money—the sort of money that could get me out of my nasty apartment and into something that probably doesn’t have mold in the walls. I could get a new car! Or—no, DUH! I can pay Nathan back for all the years of rent he has been paying on my behalf. This is huge.
I know Nathan would never hold the rent situation over my head, but it would make me feel better to have a clean slate nonetheless. The reason for wanting to pay him back is not pride or stubbornness. It’s something more complicated. It’s confidence in knowing I can provide for myself, and it’s also a form of caring for my friend. I realize he doesn’t need this money from me, but ever since we were in high school, Nathan’s friends and family have always looked to him as their financial savior, like it’s his sole responsibility to pull them out of their tight squeeze. I refuse to ever treat him like that. So, I may have to accept his friends-and-family discount on my studio rent until I figure out what my next step is, but I will pay him back for his kindness to me.
Unfortunately, it means I have to date my best friend. Could I handle crossing this friendship line and come back from it unscathed in the end? I’m skeptical.
My shoulders deflate, and Nathan notices. He looks at Nicole. “Can you give us a minute alone to talk it over?”
“Of course. I’ll be out on the balcony making a few calls while you discuss it.”
Nicole sets an innocent little pen by the papers before leaving the room. The door slams behind her, and I wince at the abrasive sound. I feel jumpy. My foot is vibrating. My knee is bouncing.
“Bree,” Nathan says in a soothing tone, reaching down to still my foot. “We do not have to do this. Say the word and I’ll tell Nicole to throw the papers in the trash.”
I look from the stack of contracts to Nathan. He’s so relaxed. Not a shaking foot or bouncing knee on him. Instead, his dark eyes look as peaceful as the dead of night, when you can’t sleep and look out the window and everything is calm and still.
“So you’re leaving the choice completely up to me?” I ask, uncomfortable with the weight of that realization.
“Of course. I’m used to this life already. It’s you who would be affected the most by the sudden change.”
“But…you’re okay with…the dating part?”
Something flashes in his features. He looks away quickly and then back to me. “Well, I…” His thumb taps on the back of my chair, the movement brushes against my shoulder blade, and the hairs on my arm stand. They’re all attentive listeners to the story his thumb is trying to tell. “I think we could work it out. But to be honest, the only reason I’d hesitate to do it is because I know exactly what you’re planning to do with that money.”
I lift my chin. “No you don’t.”
“It’s written all over your face. See, right here across your forehead it says, PAY NATHAN BACK.”
I laugh and give him a gentle shove. He doesn’t budge because he’s an ox. “I don’t know. We’d have to be a couple for four whole weeks.” A lot can happen in four weeks.
“A fake couple. It would just be acting.”
Oh. Well, that’s true…
“And besides,” he continues, “you’re always saying how much we’re like brother and sister. So there shouldn’t be any fear of feelings forming. Unless…”
My eyes widen to saucers and I cut him off. “You’re totally right! It’s actually not that big of a deal now that I think about it.” The inflection in my voice is lighter. It’s all starting to feel very practical and straightforward. Yeah. This is good. Nathan and I can totally do this. I can do this!