‘Mick, the owner, has loads of leftover produce. He doesn’t mind.’
I felt uneasy about it. What kind of farmer just gave away his produce for free? Was it another thing Daphne was lying about?
Later that evening, when you were in bed, we were both sitting on the sofa together, each at either end like we used to do when we first met. Usually we’d be huddled up, a tangle of arms and legs, like a two-headed, eight-limbed creature.
‘I’ve got something for you,’ she said, handing me a small leatherbound book. I took it, reading the title in gold embossed into the leather. Love Poems. ‘Open it,’ she urged.
I did as she said and was surprised to see a pressed red rose between the pages.
‘I love you so much,’ she said. ‘Please forgive me.’
‘So you did lie?’
‘It was stupid. I just wanted to see if you liked him. Or if you liked women. Well, me …’
‘Daphne, you have to be honest with me. I can’t carry on being in a relationship with you unless you’re totally truthful.’
‘I am.’ She inched up the sofa towards me. ‘Of course I am.’
‘And what about when you were a kid? You said killing Susan Wallace was an accident.’
‘It was.’
‘I read the news reports.’
She sprang back as though I’d slapped her. ‘What? You were snooping around on me?’
‘I have a two-and-a-half-year-old daughter.’
The hurt on her face crushed me. ‘You think I’d ever hurt Lolly?’
‘No.’ I’d gone too far, I could see that. I knew she loved you like you were her own. ‘No, of course not.’
She rushed to my side, kneeling at my feet and taking my hands in hers. She kissed them and looked up at me. My heart lurched. She was so beautiful. ‘Rose, I’m sorry for lying about Joel. It was stupid.’
‘I …’
She pulled me onto the floor with her and ran her hands through my hair, her eyes intense. ‘I love you. I’ve never loved anyone like I’ve loved you. You have to believe me.’
‘I do.’
Her eyes filled with tears. ‘You can’t leave me. I’d be lost without you.’
‘Daphne …’
‘You promise. You promise me, Rose. You can’t leave me.’
I hesitated, thinking of how I’d been so determined to ask her to move out. But I knew I was just angry. I loved her so much. ‘I’m not planning to leave you.’
Relief flooded her face. ‘Oh, good.’ She kissed me, wrapping her arms around me, the book of poetry she’d given me sliding off my lap and onto the wooden floor beside us. She pulled away, cupping my face with her hands.
‘I know too much about you,’ she said, her face serious.
‘And I know too much about you.’
‘Then we’re stuck together, aren’t we?’ She laughed to break the tension but it did nothing to dispel the unease that crept through me.
And maybe we might have been okay. Maybe we could have moved past this.
If it hadn’t been for Sean.
52
Theo
It’s dark and raining when Theo leaves the restaurant. Since May turned into June it’s done nothing but piss down and he has to sprint through the rain-slicked street to his car, his jacket over his head.