Arctic Monkeys’ ‘R U Mine?’ comes on the radio and he turns it up loud, trying to drown his thoughts. What should he do next? There is no point in confronting his dad about it. It’s not like he’ll suddenly turn around to Theo and admit it. He’ll just get angry again, then defensive and nasty.
And then another thought pops into his head.
If his dad is capable of sexually assaulting someone, what other terrible things has he done?
Jen is sitting up in bed watching Friends. He’d popped into the garage to buy her a giant bag of Maltesers on his way home, like he promised, and her eyes light up when he walks into the bedroom dangling them enticingly, making sure he’s plastered a cheerful mask over his anxious face before entering the room.
‘Perfect,’ she says, her knees sinking into the mattress as she reaches up and throws her arms around his neck. He climbs onto the bed and lies fully clothed next to her.
‘How are you feeling?’ he asks, as she settles down and opens the packet, shoving a handful into her mouth.
‘Better now,’ she mumbles, through the Maltesers, offering him one. He shakes his head.
She pauses the telly, even though it’s an episode they’ve both seen umpteen times and one of Theo’s favourites – the one when the girls lose their apartment to the boys in a bet. Jen could probably quote it verbatim. Comfort telly, she calls it, and she’s right. It’s not lost on him that it’s the episode when Phoebe finds out she’s pregnant.
‘Well?’ she asks, swallowing her mouthful. ‘How did it go?’ Concern flashes in her eyes. ‘You seem sad.’
He shrugs. ‘I’m not a good actor, am I?’
‘What did Larry say?’
‘More evidence that my dad is a total fucking tool. Not that I should need it.’
‘Oh, babe.’
He glances at her, his beautiful wife, and suddenly he doesn’t want to tell her. He doesn’t want her to look at him and remember that he’s related to a man who is capable of something so sick. He doesn’t want to tarnish what they have, their innocent, uncomplicated life in their Victorian two-up-two-down with their dreams of babies and dogs. He thinks again of the photographs on Larry Knight’s wall, of the future he so desperately wants with Jen and their unborn children, and the spectre of his father threatening to blacken it all.
But he can’t keep this from her. He refuses to be the kind of man who hides things from his wife. He’s not his father.
He tells her everything.
Later, after they’ve hugged and demolished the chocolate and made promises to each other that they won’t let his father’s sins destroy their lives, Theo has an idea.
‘I think we should go to Wiltshire. Meet these people who own that cottage. My dad is interested in one of them for some reason. I need to know why.’
‘Are you sure?’ says Jen. ‘Maybe it’s best to keep the past buried.’
He swivels his leg out of bed so that he’s sitting on the edge with his back to her. ‘… I just can’t.’
He feels her hand on his shoulder. ‘Is this about your mum?’
Theo turns to look at her. ‘I keep wondering about the day she died.’
‘What about it?’
‘It was an accident. That’s what everyone said. But what if he did something to her?’
‘Like what? Pushed her?’
‘He pushed me down the stairs once.’
‘Oh, babe …’
‘I’m not telling you that for sympathy.’