‘Do you have any sisters?’ I asked, forgetting our rule of no questions. I felt her stiffen but she shook her head, much to my surprise.
‘No.’
‘Me neither. And your parents?’
Daphne sipped her drink. The fire crackled in the hearth. All I knew about her was that she’d grown up in south London, not that far from where I’d lived with my parents, but moved away when she was eleven. Since then, she said, she’d lived ‘all over’。
She shook her head. ‘Long, boring story. I’m the black sheep. You know how it is?’
I didn’t, but I nodded anyway.
She turned away from me, not saying anything else, just staring into the fire, her eyes huge and sad.
After a few minutes she fixed her eyes on me again, something changing in her expression. ‘I’ve always kept myself to myself. Other places I’ve stayed, other people I’ve lodged with, I’ve kept at arm’s length. But you …’ her eyes softened ‘… you’re the only person I’ve let myself get close to, Rose. For a long, long time. I hope you don’t make me regret it.’
I felt myself blush. ‘Of course I won’t. But can I ask? Why me?’
‘I don’t know. I feel like we’re the same.’
She was right. I felt that too: both self-sufficient, determined to be strong, but also damaged. She was the first person I had let myself grow close to since I’d run away that terrible night three years ago. And I got the feeling it was the same for Daphne.
As an only child I’d never known what it was like to have a sibling, but the closeness I felt with Daphne in that moment was how I’d always imagined it would be. I glanced at her and her eyes locked with mine. My stomach fluttered. I felt more for her than sisterly affection, I knew that really. The more I got to know her, the deeper my feelings became. I felt my cheeks grow hot at the thought that she might be able to tell.
She smiled at me. ‘And also … with Lolly. With the three of us, it’s like the family I wish I’d had.’
‘Me too,’ I said, my voice full of emotion.
We smiled at each other shyly and she reached over and took my hand in hers, squeezing my fingers gently. In that moment I knew I’d do anything for her: I wanted to look out for her and protect her. I’d never felt that way about another person apart from you, and maybe Audrey. Looking back now, I realized I was falling in love.
Then you came bounding into the room with a Barbie half dressed. You thrust it into Daphne’s lap. ‘I can’t do,’ you wailed. And Daphne laughed and pulled you onto her legs while she dressed the doll for you.
It was the most perfect day. The three of us huddled on the sofa, happy and safe, the fire roaring and the snow falling softly outside.
I wish we could have stayed that way, I really do.
Part Three
* * *
29
Theo
On Thursday morning Theo unexpectedly finds himself alone in his dad’s study and an opportunity presents itself to him that is too good to pass up.
The chance to snoop.
It’s not the kind of behaviour Theo has ever indulged in before. He’s not the type. He’s never looked through Jen’s phone, or tried to hack into her emails, like some of his mates have done with their other halves. Mutual trust is so important to him. And he knows Jen feels the same.
My dad is a potential pervert who is hiding something, he tells himself in a bid to ease his conscience.
Theo hadn’t planned to go to his dad’s today, especially after his visit to Larry yesterday, but guilt had gnawed at him about their argument and even though he’d lain awake most of last night, fury and disappointment grappling for prime emotion, guilt still found a way of slipping in, like a piece of shell falling into a bowl when cracking an egg.