“Holy shit, Emmett, Tim asked me why my face was bright red,” she said in a hissed whisper. “My mom looked over at my phone, and I almost broke my ankle trying to get off the couch too fast.”
I laughed, and so did she. That sound of her breathless, embarrassed laughter was a balm, something soothing and sweet, and I had to close my eyes as it smoothed the impatient edge in my chest. I’d carried it around for weeks, and it wasn’t until it was gone that I realized the full weight of it.
My head fell back on the couch, and I blew out a breath. “I miss you,” I said. “So fucking much.”
She went quiet on the other end of the phone. Then I heard her sigh. “I miss you, too.”
For a long moment, neither of us said anything. If Adaline felt anything close to what I was, just knowing she was there was enough.
It wasn’t enough, but it was so much more than what we’d had. I would’ve given anything, paid any sum of money, for the power to make her appear next to me. It made me think about all the moments I’d wasted. Years of her hovering on the edge of my life.
“Do you know when I first wanted to kiss you?” I asked.
Adaline didn’t answer. She simply pulled in a shaky breath.
“I was home for spring break. I think it was my junior year.” I closed my eyes and pulled the memory to the front of my mind. I’d never told her this because it only made the time we wasted that much worse. It made my choice not to explore something with her that much worse. “Noah and I had just come home from the Wolves training facility, and Molly ordered pizza for dinner.”
She hummed. “I was doing a swimming lesson with Luna.”
I smiled. “You were wearing a red one-piece swimsuit. It tied in a little bow behind your neck.”
“You remember?”
I groaned. “You looked like my Baywatch fantasy come to life.”
Adaline’s laughter was full of delight. “Shut up.”
“I stayed for dinner when I saw you there,” I added. “You brought Luna inside, and you were all bundled up in this big fluffy white towel, laughing with her about how she never closed her mouth when she tried to swim.” I rubbed at my chest, the memory was so vivid, so clear, and I hated my past self for thinking it wasn’t as important as it was. All the moments mattered when I looked back at them now. Every small, seemingly insignificant thing created the foundation for where we are now. “I was standing at the island, and you came to get something out of the fridge.”
“Apple juice,” she said quietly. “Luna always wanted apple juice with pizza.”
“That’s right.”
“That made you want to kiss me?”
“You smiled at me when I moved out of your way. I remember thinking you had the prettiest smile I’d ever seen. And I wanted to kiss you.”
“Oh, Emmett.” She sighed. “That was so long ago. A full year before the draft.”
“I know.”
Adaline was quiet for a minute. “Why did you shoot me down when I came to you?”
Despite her pause, she didn’t ask the question tentatively. No anger or frustration was coloring her tone. It was a genuine desire to understand.
“I guess it’s the same reason we’re here now, after all these years.” I ran a hand through my hair and let it drop. “It always felt like there was a choice to be made if we went down this road. At the time, I didn’t see how I could make it work.”
“And we went down this road anyway.”
“We did.” I sat up and sighed. “After all those years, I couldn’t shake those moments when I didn’t act. In the spring, when I knew you were single, I felt like I had to try.”