And a deeper part of me asked, How can you think about Ben and writing and books when your dad is dead?
I thought about them because if I thought too much about Dad, that stone in my stomach would weigh me down to the center of the earth, and I’d never crawl out again.
So I sipped on my battery fuel and trained my mind on the thing in front of me—namely, Ben.
The main thoroughfare of the town was already filled with people walking to work, and moms pushing their strollers, and high schoolers playing hooky from school. There was a couple sitting in the gazebo, setting up two cellos, and a man in a business suit reading a newspaper on one of the benches in the green. On the other bench sat a man no one else could see. He was leaning back, his arms folded tightly over his chest, his face turned up toward the sun. Every time I saw him, he looked a little less put together. A button was undone on his shirt, or his shirtsleeves were rolled up, or his hair had fallen out of its gel. This morning it was a little of all three.
I tried not to linger too much on his forearms. He had a tattoo on the underside of his right arm, halfway up toward the elbow, though his arms were folded so I couldn’t see the whole thing. Though I really wouldn’t mind. Some people were shoulder people, some people were back people, some people were butt people— I, for all intents and purposes, was a forearm kind of girl.
As I watched him, he cracked open an eye to look at me. “You’re late.”
I checked my phone. “By ten minutes!”
“Ten minutes is still late,” he replied, and sat up straight. I joined him on the bench and took another sip of coffee. The grains of sugar crunched between my teeth. He eyed the cup. “I miss coffee.”
“Connoisseur or lifeblood?”
“I liked the notes in some very limited roasts that I procured from—”
“Connoisseur, right. You’d hate this stuff, then. Definitely motor oil and sugar.”
He wrinkled his noise. “That sounds disgusting.”
“I drink the battery acid juice so I can go zoom-zoom,” I replied. “Okay so—why are we here? How is this going to help me? I’m wasting time. If I’m not writing, I should be helping my family with the funeral arrangements—”
“This isn’t a waste of time. Put your zoom-zoom juice down, take a deep breath, and trust me, yeah?”
I eyed him. “I’m keeping my zoom-zoom juice.”
He let out a laugh, said, “Fine, fine,” and motioned out toward the center of town. The man sitting on the opposite bench reading the paper. The mothers rolling their strollers to brunch. The kids playing hooky from school. The mayor taking a leak on a fire hydrant. （Hell yeah, stick it to the man, Mayor Fetch!） “This is a trick I learned—just sit and watch people. Set their scene. Imagine who’d they’d be.”
“Really?” I deadpanned. “This is stupid.” I began to get up, when he cleared his throat. I sat back down with a huff. “Do I have to?”
He raised a single thick eyebrow. I hated it. It was so—so perfect.
“Fine!” I threw my free hand into the air. “Show me the way, O great Jedi master.”
“Learn you shall, young Padawan.” Ben leaned toward me and nudged his chin toward a couple walking their Pomeranian. “They met on Tinder last week. One-night stand. But then they matched again the next night—and the next night—”
“Tinder does suck around here,” I agreed. “Not a lot of choices.”
“And on the fourth night, he called her up. Asked her on a date. They’ve been inseparable since.”
“And the dog?”
“A stray—kept following them around everywhere. So, they decided to adopt it. Together.”