Scratch that—he’s in hysterics.
His broad back quakes with laughter, causing the mattress to vibrate beneath us. When he finally speaks, his voice is wheezy and broken by loud guffaws. “Man monster?”
“Stop laughing at me. I’m serious,” I insist. “I might have big boobs and a grabbable ass, but have you seen my hips? Tiny and narrow! Which stands to reason that my lady canal—”
A howl rips out of his mouth. “Lady canal?”
“—is narrow too. You’re going to rip me in half.”
He raises his head and there are honest-to-God tears in his eyes. “I think that’s the nicest thing a girl has ever said to me,” he chokes out.
“It’s not funny, okay?”
He’s still wheezing like crazy. “It totally is.”
“You know what? We’re not doing this. You’ve officially killed the mood.”
“Me?” he demands between laughs. “You did that all by yourself, baby.”
I sit up with an annoyed grumble. “Seriously, this was a stupid idea.” Sighing, I search the mattress for the remote control. “Let’s just watch the show.”
“No way. We’re already in this deep.” His voice becomes gruff. “Give me your hand.”
I eye him suspiciously. “Why?”
“Because I think if you get better acquainted with my man monster, you’ll see that you don’t have to be afraid of him.”
I snort, but the humor dies when Garrett takes my hand and puts it directly inside his boxers.
The mood I killed? Roars right back to life as I gingerly wrap my fingers around his shaft. He’s long and thick and pulsing beneath my fingertips, and that’s all it takes for my body to tingle again.
I give him a tentative stroke, and he groans softly. “See? It’s just a regular old penis, Wellsy.”
My throat closes up with laughter. “There are so many things wrong with that sentence I don’t even know where to start.” I pause. “Exactly how old is your penis?”
“He’s twenty, like me,” Garrett answers seriously. “But he’s way more mature than I am. What about your lady canal? Is she wiser than her years, or is she—”
I shut him up with a kiss.
It isn’t long before I’m shivering with pleasure again. Garrett’s hand returns to where I want it to be. Somehow my panties disappear, and one long finger slides inside me, making me gasp. My inner muscles clamp around him, and a bolt of heat sizzles up my spine.
Garrett’s tongue fills my mouth, his erection rocking into my hand. I’ve never felt more in control, more desirable, because I know I’m the one responsible for those rough sounds he’s making. He breaks the kiss to nibble on my shoulder, and the spark in my body burns hotter, so close to detonating that I’m moaning louder now.
But the arousal extinguishes when I open my eyes to find him watching me.
The tingles disappear, and I stiffen beneath his touch.
“What’s wrong?” he murmurs.
“Nothing.” I swallow. “Just…kiss me again.” I yank his head down and part my lips to welcome his tongue.
Garrett strokes my clit with dexterity that awes me. It’s like he knows exactly how much pressure to exert, when to rub faster, when to slow down. I grind into his talented hand, but when he groans again, the arousal fades once more.
I groan too, frustrated.
“What’s going on, Wellsy?” His fingertips skim over my sex. “I know you’re into this. I can feel it.”