His face relaxes. Just slightly. “So it was before Dean’s thing? Before you and I…？”
I nod.
“Okay.” He takes a breath. “Okay. Not as bad as I thought.” But then his features turn to stone again and his nostrils flare. “Wait—what do you mean, you haven’t decided if you’re going?”
I give a helpless shrug.
“You’re not fucking going, Hannah!”
His sharp voice makes me wince. “Says who? You? Because last I checked, you and I aren’t dating. We’re just fooling around.”
“Is that what you really—” He stops, his mouth twisting in a scowl. “You know what? I guess you’re right. I guess we’re just fooling around.”
I can barely keep up with the jumbled thoughts racing through my brain. “You said you don’t do girlfriends,” I say weakly.
“I said I don’t have time for a girlfriend,” he shoots back. “But guess what—priorities change.”
I falter. “So you’re saying you want me to be your girlfriend?”
“Yeah, maybe that’s what I’m saying.”
My teeth sink into my lower lip. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why would you want that?” I bite my lip harder. “You’re all one-track about hockey, remember? And besides, we argue too much.”
“We don’t argue. We bicker.”
“It’s the same thing.”
He rolls his eyes. “No, it’s not. Bickering is fun and good-natured. Arguing is—”
“Oh my God, we’re arguing about the way we argue!” I interrupt, unable to stop from laughing.
Garrett’s shoulders relax at the sound of my laughter. He takes a step toward me, searching my face. “I know you’re into me, Wellsy. And I’m definitely into you. Would it really be so bad if we made this thing official?”
I gulp again. I hate being put on the spot, and I’m too confused to make sense of anything right now. Acting on impulse isn’t something I do often. I never make decisions without giving them careful thought, and although other girls might break out in cartwheels at the thought of making things “official” with Garrett Graham, I’m more pragmatic than that. I didn’t expect to like this guy. Or to have sex with him. Or to be in the position where he might be my boyfriend.
“I don’t know,” I finally say. “I mean, I didn’t really think about you and me in terms of dating. I just wanted to…” My cheeks grow warm “…explore the attraction and see if…you know. But I didn’t think any farther ahead than that.” My confusion triples, turning my mind to mush. “I have no idea what this even is, or where it could go, or…”
As I trail off, I notice Garrett’s expression, and the hurt in his eyes cuts into me like a knife.
“You don’t know what this is or where it could go? Jesus, Hannah. If you…” He lets out a shaky breath, his broad shoulders sagging. “If you honestly don’t know, then we’re wasting our time. Because I know exactly what it is. I—” He halts so abruptly it gives me whiplash.
“You what?” I whisper.
“I—” He stops again. His gray eyes darken. “You know what? Forget it. I guess you’re right. This was all about exploring the attraction.” He sounds increasingly bitter. “I’m just your sex therapist, right? Actually, no, I’m your fucking fluffer.”
“Fluffer?” I say blankly.