But the thought that she might be…I don’t know…scared of me now…
It kills me.
I show up at her dorm unannounced because I know that if I text her beforehand, she’ll give me some excuse about how busy she is. I know she’s home because I pulled the most pathetic move on the planet by texting Allie to find out, followed by the dick move of begging her not to tell Hannah I’m coming over because I have a surprise for her.
I’m not sure Allie bought it. I mean, girls talk, so it stands to reason that Hannah told her best friend about whatever’s bugging her.
As I expect, Hannah doesn’t look happy to see me at her door. She doesn’t look pissed off, either, which makes me uneasy, especially when I notice the glimmer of regret in her eyes.
Shit.
“Hi,” I say gruffly.
“Hi.” Her throat bobs as she swallows. “What are you doing here?”
I suppose I can pretend that everything is all right, that I just stopped by to see my favorite girl, but that’s not who Hannah and I are. We’ve never tiptoed around the truth before, and I’m not about to start now.
“I wanted to find out why my girlfriend is avoiding me.”
She sighs.
That’s it. A sigh. Four days of zero physical contact and minimal text messages and all I get from her is a sigh.
“What the hell is going on?” I demand in frustration.
She hesitates, her gaze darting toward Allie’s closed door. “Can we talk in my room?”
“Sure, as long as we actually fucking talk,” I mutter.
We go to her bedroom and she shuts the door. When she turns to face me, I know exactly what she’s going to say.
“I’m sorry I’ve been acting so weird. I’ve just been doing some thinking…”
Holy shit. She’s breaking up with me. Because nobody starts a sentence with “I’ve just been doing some thinking…” without ending that sentence with, “and I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”
Hannah lets out a breath. “And I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”
Even though I’m expecting it, the quiet words stab me in the heart and send a tornado of pain spiraling through me.
She hurries on when she notices my expression. “It’s just…things are moving too fast, Garrett. It’s barely been two months and we’re already at the I-love-you stage, and it’s so super serious all of a sudden, and…” She looks frazzled and sounds upset.
I, on the other hand, am neither frazzled nor upset.
I’m devastated.
I choke back the bitterness lining my throat. “Why don’t you say what you really mean?”
She frowns. “What?”
“You said you didn’t hate me for losing my temper with Delaney, but that’s what all this is about, right? It scared you. It made you see me as some reckless caveman who can’t control his violent urges, right?”
Shock fills her eyes. “No. Of course not.”
The conviction in her voice makes me falter. It’s so easy for me to read this girl, and as I search her eyes, I can’t find even a hint that she might be lying to me. But…fuck. If she’s not pissed about Delaney, then why the hell is she doing this?
“We’re moving too fast,” she insists. “That’s what this is about.”
“Fine,” I say tersely. “Then let’s slow it down. What is it you want? You want us to see each other only once a week? Stop crashing at each other’s places? What do you want?”