For fuck抯 sake. Yes, I抣l drive all the way to Silverlake for Thai food, and I抣l be sure to tell them a complete stranger said hi. 揝ure. Could I just get two coffees??
揥hy don抰 I make it a latte??she asks. 揧ou could use a little fattening up.?
Ugh. Commenting on my weight, good or bad, exceeds the limits of acceptable small-town quirkiness. 揑抦 fine thanks. Just the coffee. To go.?
揟ake a seat and I抣l bring it over,?she tells me.
I do as she says, and it takes her several minutes to bring me two cups of coffee, which are not to-go. I抦 thanking her as the door opens and three small children spill in, followed by their harried mother.
Amy swoops one of them up and gives him a kiss on the cheek. 揌ow are my grandbabies??she asks.
揟rouble as always,?answers the woman, who drops into a seat near mine.
One of the kids plops on the floor and starts rolling his toy car into my shoe. Once is an accident, but by the third time I realize destroying my shoe is his chosen activity for the next few minutes.
揟hat抯 Jarrett,?Amy explains. 揌e loves cars.?
I love unscuffed Jimmy Choos, but I guess we don抰 always get what we want. I lift my feet and Jarrett glares at me like I just entered his soccer game and stole the ball.
Meanwhile, Amy continues her running commentary about her grandchildren梩heir likes, their dislikes, their favorite books梐nd is still going strong when Ben walks in.
I jump to my feet and he waves me to sit. 揧ou might as well get comfortable,?he says. 揑t looks like we抮e stuck here.?
Ben抯 car needs a new part, one that won抰 arrive until morning. We check into a bed and breakfast, all wallpaper and chintz, with creepy dolls on every shelf, and a proprietor named Julie who stays slightly too close as she leads us through the house. She asks us to remove our shoes and warns us that the toilet isn抰 great. 揅all down to me if you need a plunger,?she says. 揧ou probably will.?
The room smells like moth balls and history. 揇on抰 lose the key and don抰 come in after ten, please,?she says.
揥hat would we even find to do here after ten??I ask, and Ben steps on my foot to shut me up.
She stops at the door on her way out and looks Ben over, from head to toe. 揂nd I should warn you that the bed squeaks and the walls are thin.?
I raise a brow at him once she抯 gone. 揑 think she basically just told us not to have sex.?
揝he抎 need to try a little harder for that to succeed,?he says, wrapping his arms around me. He looks at the bed. 揝o what do you think??
揑 think that quilt hasn抰 been washed once since someone made it in 1972 and is probably covered in bodily fluids.?
揥e抣l remove the quilt,?he says. His mouth slips into a sly smile and he loosens his tie. 揕ook at the headboard. That抯 the kind of bed we need at home.?
By which he means the kind that wrists can be tied to. I squeeze my thighs together in anticipation.
揑 bet she抯 standing right outside listening,?I whisper.
He crosses the room and opens the door. 揑 think you抮e being paranoid匫h, hi, Julie.?
She scurries away and he turns to me, his shoulders sagging. 揗aybe we抣l just go for a walk, then.?
I change into shorts and sneakers, and we stroll through the town, hand in hand. Ben asks someone if there are any good hikes, which sounds like a lot of work to me, and we are directed to the woods at the edge of town, where there抯 a path and a 損retty little lake?
As we walk, I start talking about our new gender discrimination case and he stops me. 揟his is a no-work weekend, remember??
揥ell, if Julie wasn抰 standing outside our room like a creep, I抎 tell you exactly how to take my mind off work.?
He nods at the trees overhead. 揟ry to enjoy nature.?
揑抳e seen trees before,?I reply, kicking a branch out of our way. 揢npopular opinion, but nature is boring.?
He laughs and pulls me toward the stupid little lake, which was not worth walking a mile to view. We sit on a bench, and I rest my head on his shoulder.
揥hat do you think??he asks.
揑 think they ought to drain this lake and make it a big Target Superstore,?I reply. 揟hat would make it worth the one-mile walk. But I抦 glad you抮e here suffering with me.?
揃ecause you like having me around,?he asks, 搊r because you want me to suffer??
I grin. 揅an抰 it be both??
He laughs, pulling me to my feet, and we head back. My cute white Vejas are no longer white by the time we near town, and they抮e giving me a blister. He gives me a piggyback ride to the bed and breakfast, where we have furtive, silent sex in the shower before changing to go to dinner. It抯 only four p.m., but there抯 nothing else to do.
The diner isn抰 as cute and retro as I thought. Tap water is delivered to us in cloudy glasses. We decide we aren抰 thirsty.