But in all honesty, I really don’t know if he will.
We couldn’t be more different.
Hayden switches off her bedside lamp. “Good night,” she says.
“Do I get a good-night kiss?” I ask.
She sits up and kisses me. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I smile. She lies down and puts her back to me again.
Hmm . . . I guess it’s no country loving for me, then.
“Did I eat an organ tonight?” I ask.
Hayden giggles. “I was pulling your leg, you idiot.”
“Oh.” I smile. “Thank the lord.” I completely fell for it.
I turn the television and my side lamp off, and we lie in the darkness.
“Mooooo” sounds in the distance. “Mooo.”
I listen to the symphony of cows for over half an hour.
“Why is that cow doing that?” I ask. “Doesn’t it get a sore throat?”
“We have a few calves coming. I would say someone’s in labor.”
“Oh.” I frown. How odd. “How do you know when they’re pregnant?”
She giggles. “You’re an idiot.”
“But . . .”
“Oh my god, Christopher.” She laughs. “You’re hysterical.”
Hysterical?
I lie in the dark, pondering why I’m a hysterical idiot for not knowing the answer to a legitimate question.
But seriously . . . how do they fucking know?
I wake to the sound of a large engine roaring, and I frown.
What the hell is that?
Hayden isn’t in bed with me.
It’s dawn, early. The sun is just coming up, and I get up and walk to the window and narrow my eyes . . . huh?
Am I seeing this right?
Mist is rolling around on the ground, and Hayden is driving a huge-ass tractor across a paddock and into the distance. There’s a dog sitting on her lap.
What the fuck?
She drives a tractor? And . . . dogs ride on tractors?
Fucking hell, what next?
I go downstairs and make myself a cup of coffee and take a shower. The sun is fully up now, and Hayden still isn’t back.
I open the front door, and another huge dog is lying across the front of the doorway.
“You’re a log of a dog,” I mutter as I step over it. “What’s wrong with you, too fat to climb on the tractor?” I walk out into the paddock and look around; the sun is shining, and the birds are chirping. Even I have to admit it is pretty beautiful out here. I walk in the direction that Hayden drove to. I wonder where she is.
Fifteen minutes later I come over the top of the hill to see the tractor stopped and Hayden and a bit of a fuss going on.
What are they doing up there?
I narrow my eyes to try to focus. I think that’s Harvey too . . . hmm, I can’t turn around now. They’ve seen me already.
Oh well. If he hates me, he hates me.
I walk closer and closer, and I have no idea what’s going on up here.
A cow is lying on its side, leg up in the air, and all the cows in the paddock are crying out as they watch.
This is so strange . . . I keep walking, and as I get closer, I see Hayden is down on her knee beside the cow.